Settling In (C vs. E)

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

A huge milestone in our family this week: E started settling in to daycare. And this experience has, so far, been wildly different from when C began. 

C had been looked after by Glenn or my parents once I went back to work. When she was 10 months, we realised that was no longer feasible and we needed childcare, as soon as possible. Her settling in was a little play there the afternoon before she had to be in for a full day.

E has been looked after primarily by me which is easier because, thanks to all sorts of things, I do what I can to work from home. But if Glenn is looking after her while I’m trying to work in her sight, she screeches for me. I was beginning to realise that we needed childcare, soonish but not urgently but maybe we should start the process. 

C loves people, has always made people smile, and will say a cheery hello to random people we pass in the street. I was not at all worried about her starting daycare from a social point of view.

E does not love people. If someone looks at her a bit too closely, she cries. I was worried – I am still worried – about her starting daycare from a social point of view. Even though she has seen the staff nearly every week, she has also cried at them nearly every week. I am anticipating a few weeks for settling in.

C was a terrible sleeper. Fed to sleep for ages. I was very, very worried about her starting daycare from a naps point of view. After a few days and conversations with her teacher (yes, actually, I know it’s a short nap but please please please wake her up from her morning nap otherwise she just will refuse to sleep at lunch have you noticed that because I notice that and then bedtime is atrocious), things settled down and I didn’t worry quite so much.

E has been a dream in comparison. Not entirely – there have been days that have been horrible – but so much easier. Refuses to be fed or even held to sleep. Must be lying down. I am not worried about her starting daycare from a naps point of view. And sure enough, she has napped exactly when I said I wanted her to nap. Her teachers are amazed that she wakes right on 9:30.

The night before C’s first day, I was madly trying to name all her things and she refused to go to sleep. It was rather stressful.

The night before E’s first day, she slept beautifully. Until 4:30 or so and by 4:45 she was screeching for me to wake up. Not fun, but it did mean she was definitely very ready for that morning nap.

When we dropped C off for her first day, I cried. I was so worried, and scared for her, and wondering if I had done the right thing. One of the staff assured me they were all highly trained and most of them had children of their own. When I recognised that it is their job, they’re actually better equipped to do this than I am, it made it a whole lot easier.

I had no such qualms with E. I was a little sad the night before and gave her extra extra cuddles, but I was in a totally different headspace. I know the staff are going to look after her. I know C can go for little visits (which they both love, no surprises there). I know it is good for E to experience different carers and other children and new toys and messy play that someone else gets to clean up. I know it will make the next few years easier as she goes through these pre-school years with the same children and carers, and I get that time to work, to earn money, to have time away so I can come back refreshed with all the cuddles and kisses of I miss you.

St Andrew’s Day

/ annamurray / 2 Comments

Such a big deal is made out of St Patrick’s Day. And I know, everyone loves the Irish – I even married one. But I try to make Scotland’s day, St Andrew’s Day, just as important in the rhythm of our life. 

In previous years I have made raspberry Cranachan, and Scottish sausage rolls (at least, that’s what the recipe called them). This year we are in the midst of the baby screeching phase and the 3-year-old needing me in her bedroom the whole time until she falls asleep phase so my efforts were limited. I had ideas to make handprint Scottish thistles and cotton wool Scottish flags but C was ‘not really in the zone for that’.

So this year was the year we celebrated the national animal of Scotland: the unicorn. You can’t really pass up an opportunity to make unicorn cupcakes.

The cupcakes were made Monday afternoon, mixed at the dining table while E had her afternoon tea. The decorations were also made at the dining table, while E had her lunch today. There was much wheedling from C to taste just a teeny tiny incy wincy smallest ever piece of fondant… she may have snuck a few specks while I was looking the other way. She also tried to eat the bit of fondant that she was using but that was a very hefty chunk that oh just makes me queasy thinking about it. Ugh. The icing was made and cupcakes finally decorated after lunch.

This was our first time making unicorn cupcakes. Next time I will make sure we leave the fondant to set fully (normally we do any shapes the day before). And next time I will make sure to find my actual piping bag with actual attachments instead of using a sandwich bag with a hole cut in the side. It just isn’t the same. 

Advent Sunday

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

We love Christmas. C LOVES it. When the Christmas decorations went up in our local shopping centre on November 1 she was over the moon. 

Our family tradition (as in, what I was brought up with and brought to our family) is to put up the Christmas decorations on Advent Sunday. C wanted to do this straight after breakfast but OH that’s when we watch the new Bluey and then I take E for a walknap and then actually I need to find new homes for some things. We have a lot of glass jugs and vases and bottles and they ALL live where the Christmas tree goes (on top of the dresser, because, kids).

Thankfully, E settled easily for her lunch nap and slept a respectable amount of time. New homes were found for all the things, but it was still not until after afternoon tea that we managed to go down to the garage to collect the tree and decorations.

Now, I know some families are really precious about the tree and decorations. And honestly, having seen some of the results, I can understand this. But I’ve always been fairly happy to let C help as much as she wants with guidance where necessary. This year was notably different from last year: C was much more aware of balance, and hanging space underneath, and her ability to attach an ornament (and even to unwrap it carefully from a box) was much greater than last year, and her reach – well, she’s very tall. And this was all extremely helpful especially when we had reached E’s limit and she needed to be held close to the interesting events taking place and so I couldn’t do anything at all to help and so it was all up to C. 

I am pleased to report that no ornaments were broken or damaged in the process, and no arguments were had over placement of ornaments. C desperately wants to see the Christmas lights flashing but she’ll have to be patient and see that in the morning. (It’s daddy’s job and he just hasn’t had time yet.)

Apart from Christmas lights, we also have the nativity set to put out, and there are plans afoot for more crafting. My favourite!

There is so much I have loved this year. Seeing C doing her best to carry the tree in its box as far up the stairs as she could. Watching C’s face light up with the sparkly ornaments, the pretty ones, the funny ones – an Olaf with kicky legs! A daddy sheep! As well as the violin ones, the sparkly ones, the beautiful ones. Watching E wonder at this new thing and reaching out to try to touch and feel and explore. Knowing that this Christmas in just a few weeks will be special like no other.

In Praise of the Starlight Room

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

Tuesday was huge: E was due for a checkup at the hospital. I love the Queensland Children’s Hospital. I mean, I’d rather not have to go there ever again, but as we have had to go and will continue to need to go, I love it.

Not just for its proximity, or the quality of staff, or the abundance of volunteers ready to help you out at the first furrowed brow of confusion or eyes glazed in shock.

My favourite thing about the QCH is the Starlight Room. Without it, our trips to the hospital would be diabolical. 

This is a room that recognises that children still need to play. That they need to have the normality of toys, of a big window to see the world, a room with lady birds and bumble bees to ride on, and shopping trolleys to push and pretend to play shops with, and cars and dolls and hula hoops, and tables with craft and colouring in and drawing.

This is a room that recognises that children need a break from hospital beds and hospital staff and the gravity of a situation that lands a child in hospital. A room that recognises that not all children at the hospital are patients, and siblings need just as much care and attention. 

This is a room that recognises that parents need a break, or time to focus on the child who is the patient and not worry about where any other child is and if it’s bad that they’re plugged into a tablet or trying to play with all the cords they can see.

This is a room that recognises that there’s a lot of waiting at hospitals. And although you may *know* that there’s the possibility of a 2-3 hour wait for the appointment, no one ever thinks it will really take that long so only prepares a trip for a 9-month-old and a 3-and-a-half-year-old involving maybe a half hour wait. Helloooooo, Starlight Room.

I admit, several times throughout this year I have used the Starlight Room as an incentive. C needs to be well in order to be allowed in, so a good sleep is in order. Even if I’m pushing for that sleep to happen a few months in advance. You can’t convince us you need to stay home from daycare then be expected to have a visit to the Starlight Room.

Tuesday was a bit different. Instead of me saying we’re off to the hospital and C responding with ‘yay that means I go to Starlight Room!’ this time she wasn’t so sure. A bit nervous. We reassured her that she didn’t have to go, she could stay with us in the waiting area. And she did, for a bit. She sat on my lap and we read stories while Glenn walked E around. But after about 30 minutes of this she said maybe she’d changed her mind. Ugh.

So I checked with the receptionist who was really sorry about the wait until I told her this was perfect. With the promise of a phone call when E’s time was approaching, off we went to the Starlight Room. Instead of leaving her be as we have in the past, this time we stayed with C a bit. A relaxing sit as E looked at all these other children and had some lunch. An interesting experience watching C playing in this kind of environment, needing to share with other children who maybe don’t have the social skills she has, but also in an environment in which all children are a little or a lot not their usual self. I let E have a little wander and she enjoyed the bumble bee (well, eating the little knob that is a handle) then crawling on a new surface, and finally some sensory play. 

By the time we decided we needed to go back downstairs to see how much longer we may need to wait (it was now past her nap time and E gets *cranky*), C was definitely settled in. I tried to tell her we were going and I think she heard me but she was wearing a tiara with a veil and trying to get a remote control car to work so there was little response. And I’m pretty sure the only reason she came with us when we collected her later was the promise of pizza. Win.

I’m thinking we need to make a donation to the Starlight Foundation. The amount of craft that we have around our place from her various visits – a ‘cake’, a collage, a feathery jellyfish creation – is one thing (and so much appreciated by our craft-loving girl), but the very existence of this oasis in the hospital is so very wonderful. It has made our hospital trips and our life so, so much easier.

What We Read This Week (We Love Bluey)

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

Until Sunday, I was thinking C would pick One Woolly Wombat or the Nursery Rhyme Book as her favourite book this week. They were, after all, read more than once each.

But then Monday happened. New Bluey. Quick visit from grandparents (my parents). And my mum loves providing drawing materials and reading materials, so there was a trip to the store for a new drawing pad and C’s choice of new book. She saw Bluey: Sleepytime (my absolute favourite episode) and wanted me to read it to her there. I read the first page then realised I may end up reading half the book section to her before lunch so… her new book is Bluey: Sleepytime (Joe Brumm). Read right after purchase by my parents while I did some extra shopping. Excitedly shown to daddy when we got home and read by him. Read by me for bedtime story, and again, then again while she was in bed. Read by me again tonight for bedtime story along with loads of questions about all sorts of aspects of the story. It is her favourite. It is my favourite. 

I could write at length about the amazingness that is the Sleepytime episode, or my reactions when first watching it. And maybe I shall but not just yet. We love the music and listened to it on the weekend (very proud mummy here when C recognised the Jupiter music as the music from Sleepytime). And there is that bit, that bit that always makes me cry after all the humour and emotion and the buildup and then it all tumbles out. They put that in the book of course and I tear up trying to read it, every time.

Remember, I’ll always be here for you. Even if you can’t see me. Because I love you.

Linguistic Oddities of 3 and a Half

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

The other night, I had the sad realisation that we had seen the end of nummy. The first time it happened, C had been saying ‘dee… LISH… usss’ which I finally put together as ‘delicious’. So, forever recording things, we tried to video it. Some milk with frozen raspberries in it (a favourite of hers), and ‘how is it?’ Speaking like a Michelin Star judge, instead of deeLISHuss, she pronounced her drink to be ‘nummy’. The way she said it – well, it still makes me laugh.

Sadly, when C was asked last week if her dinner was nummy, she said it was delicious. Can you tell daddy it’s nummy? It’s yummy, daddy! And only when she tried, really tried, could she tell him it was nummy. 

I find language development fascinating. I did a couple of linguistics subjects at university (as electives as part of my music degree) and have enjoyed watching babbling turn into detailed accounts of things that have happened in C’s life. 

There are the words that are guesses at words. She used to say ‘armbow’ for elbow and I miss it. Like many children, she will check for our ‘heart beep’ when playing doctor. And there are the mispronunciations like ‘hopsital’ or ‘hostipal’ or ‘aminal’ or ‘bonato’ or (my new favourite that happened on Tuesday) ‘Lemmie-un Falcon’ and ‘3CPO’.

There are the words that are right but wrong. For a while now we have been hearing ‘her’ instead of she. We have started correcting her a little bit – there’s only so long that something like this can be endearing before it becomes just wrong. But what really impressed me at the start of last week was when she ‘read’ Old Mother Hubbard and alllll of the ‘she’s were replaced with ‘her’. ‘Her went to the cobblers/ To buy him some shoes/ But when her got back/ He was reading the news’. Every. Single. One.

I’m not sure how common this is but she often swaps around double-barrelled words and phrases. For a long time she would ask to watch ‘cracker nut ballet’, or ‘Two Frozen’. Just this morning she told daddy to have ‘corn sweet’ on his toast.

But there are also the words and phrases that come about that turn into the vernacular of a family.

A word that C has taken and reinvented is jungle (verb). Over summer I was pregnant and huge and trying not to do any extra lifting. C would barrel into me or try to climb all over me or jump onto me after climbing onto the sofa. ‘Stop it! I’m not a jungle gym!’ was said multiple times. But daddy loves it… So C would climb all over Glenn when he was on the sofa, an activity that she still does. She hangs off his legs, pretends he is a horse, hides under his knees and pops up like a jack-in-the-box, pushes his back (he loves the back massage) and climbs onto his shoulders. Recently I asked what she was doing? ‘I’m jungle-ing on daddy!’ Perfect.

What We Read This Week (Jenny and Madeline)

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

Not so many stories were read this week. The reason? C had a couple of nights when she spent about an hour and a half in the bath. After my second ‘time to get out of the bath now’ if she doesn’t get out then she doesn’t get a story. I think I miss it more than she does but by that stage of the evening there’s very little left by way of consequences.

Still, when I asked her to choose her favourite story from the week, she had a tough choice. Jenny’s Bear (Michael Ratnett & June Goulding)? Or Madeline (Ludwig Bemelmans)? She vacillated a little but settled on Jenny’s Bear. Her favourite bit? When the bear arrives and drinks the pretend tea. Pretend tea!!! It’s very funny.

(We played nail salon this week, can you tell?!)

She also loves Madeline (we have Madeline In London). Partly I think because Ruby Red Shoes also goes to London, and partly because there is so much in the story. We can only have it when she is very speedy when getting out of the bath though.

My personal favourite from this week was a repeat from last week. Nursery Rhymes came out again, and Old Mother Hubbard was read and reread. And C wanted to read it herself for the first time. It was the funniest thing all day. Such a nonsensical rhyme anyway, but when you can’t actually read so just go on memory and also possibly don’t understand ALL of the words and just tack on a second half of a verse even if it doesn’t match the first half… Gold.

E has been going for regular favourites (Hungry Caterpillar and the Green Sheep) but also playing with a stack of little animal books (10 chunky books from Green Start). Each has 3 pages with rhymes about different animals. We bought them before C was born so I have read them over and over. Bonus: great for teething babies.

Of Balls and Paints and Bath Toys

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

I sometimes get the urge to organise something for a girl to play with. Usually there is an agenda behind this, such as developing a skill or working towards a milestone or enhancing early literacy skills or just plain old wearing them out so that they sleep. The success rate is a bit meh. Often there is delayed success which is always nice in hindsight but a bit disappointing at the time.

However, being an ‘on’ mum all the time is just plain exhausting. And, thankfully, not so great for kids. Boredom is wonderful.

Hello, unstructured and child-led play. What a relief.

There have been a few winners lately, leading to oodles of squeak-laughs and mummy downtime.

Winner: seahorse ball. C was given this for her first birthday and it is played with every week. It is a pink beachball with a separately-inflated seahorse and seaweed inside it, so it rolls unpredictably. So much fun. When C was smaller she would bounce and roll around on it too, and it was the first ball she could catch. It is one of the few things that keeps E in the play zone for more than two minutes as she loves the back-and-forth nature of it. The girls have started playing to and fro with it – usually a reminder to C to be gentle followed by E trying to eat it then throwing it back to C, all accompanied by riotous laughter. Gold.

Winner: paints. Oh my. One of those ‘ooh Pinterest has shown me all the food-safe finger paints’ moments. One of those ‘ooh Pinterest has all these fingerprint and handprint crafts we should totally do some of them’ moments. One of those ‘yay look at all this mess… (this is good for them this is good for them this is good for them this is good for them)’ moments. Fingerpainting wasn’t a huge success in terms of prints. Fingerpainting was a success for sensory play and just getting messy then getting in the bath. Fingerpainting was also a success for reminding C that painting can be fun and doesn’t have to be done at the easel and we have other paints she can use and get paint alloverher and then get into a bath for loads of bath play.

Winner: bath toys. E is finally at the stage where she doesn’t just shove the toys in her eye so I can let her loose next to the box of bath toys and she will explore them and throw them and chase after them for ages. And C loves loves loves a ‘splash bath’. She will happily spend an hour or more playing in the bath, just as imaginative with her bath toys as she is with her soft toys. Because we have had such stinking hot humid weather lately this has been a very welcome activity.

So that’s where our unstructured play, boredom busters are at present. I have so many ideas for things to make for them but for now, this tired mummy is thankful for easy play. Phew.

The Magic of Twinkle

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

One of my great joys this year has been seeing my two girls interacting. The way E’s face lights up when C finally makes it to the breakfast table. The way C will sit down with E and ‘read’ (recite) stories. The way E builds up then lets loose a squeak laugh when C does something, anything, that she finds funny. 

And the way C will sing to E to calm her down. This has been one of the most beautiful (and unexpected) parts of my year. It began a few months ago, when E was crying because I was doing something outrageous like washing my hands and therefore not holding her. C sang, very gently and beautifully, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. E calmed down right away while my heart melted just a little bit.

We have seen many subsequent renditions of this. Usually Twinkle, sometimes Baa Baa Black Sheep. Sometimes gently, sometimes very loudly to override the screaming. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly until the last line or two and then a quick dash to the finish line. Sometimes with a caring voice and sometimes with a funny ‘granny’ voice.

And every time, E will stop the crying when she hears the singing. I suspect much of it is the surprise factor, just like babies will stop and stare when grandparents and nurses start up with the duck noises or when someone claps nearby. But there is also that knowledge in her that C cares for her and looks after her and loves her and is trying to help.

I only occasionally have success singing Twinkle to her. The song that I can sing to calm her down is Hickory Dickory Dock – although if I sing it near C she tells me I’m doing it wrong even though I sing the version we did in music classes when she was a baby. Glenn has success with Baa Baa Black Sheep but, more often, Incy Wincy Spider. He does a long pause at the start of the last line aaaaannnnnnd no matter what E is doing, she’ll lift her head and wait for it and break out into a wholeofherface smile and then maybe also a squeak laugh and then big laughs when the song continues. 

Music is magic.

What We Read This Week

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

It seems E has a favourite book: The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The edition we have (on extended loan from neighbours) is a beautiful size for little hands, and has little holes where the caterpillar eats all the food just perfect for little fingers to explore. E will make a beeline for it whenever she sees it, and if I start reading it to her before she sees I have it she immediately turns her face to me and breaks out in a smile. Delightful.

Every now and then, C insists on ‘the Humpty Dumpty book’. Which is, of course, a large collection of nursery rhymes. Duh. Humpty Dumpty is the first in the book but it is a superb collection. Nursery rhymes I remember from when I was little, nursery rhymes we sang and recited when I took her to the local library baby rhyme time sessions. Yes, it was very useful to have around for those longer rhymes with oodles of verses (one, two, buckle my shoe … nineteen, twenty, my plate’s empty!). Her absolute favourite in the book, that we will end with after I’ve read a few, is Old Mother Hubbard. The first time through she will let out a sudden laugh about halfway through, then subsequent readings the laugh starts earlier and earlier and there are many dramatic ‘WHAAAT???’s and ‘WHY IS SHE BUYING THE DOG A COAT?’ And ‘WHY – WHY – WHY IS THE DOG RIDING A GOAT?’ And other questions that are all logical and hilarious. So many questions. Perhaps not the calmest thing to read right before bed but who am I to argue?

We have also been reading (as seen in the pic) The Toymaker and The Bird (Pamela Allen), We’re Going On A Bear Hunt (Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury), and There’s No Such Thing As Monsters! (Steve Smallman and Caroline Pedler). All very much loved.