E is two! She’s finally, actually, really two. And, just like it has felt like she’s been two for months anyway, it doesn’t feel like there was much birthday. The day was marked to show she was now officially older: I sent some mini cupcakes along to daycare; and we had a very small celebration involving cake and balloons with my parents and a family friend. But we didn’t have our usual special breakfast. We didn’t do lots of presents. The presents that she has received have been totally ignored, or accepted like they were just meant to be, or railed against with tantrums.
And wow, were there tantrums. I wouldn’t let her eat cupcakes on the way to daycare. I wasn’t daddy. Daddy was trying to put sandals on her feet when there were balloons to play with. There were no more blueberries. The cake was not yet in her mouth. I wouldn’t let her eat all the M&Ms off the top of the cake.
There were, of course, also utterly delightful and lovely parts of the day. C and E sitting quietly together on a chair to watch ABC Kids. C leaning over to give E a kiss on the forehead. E climbing onto the bed where I was feeding S and getting right up close to S and staring into her eyes before giving her a kiss on the cheek. The little shivers of happiness when someone said happy birthday. Seeing her daycare teacher when we were heading home and being shown such a sweet photo of E, totally overwhelmed with delight as she sat in front of the cupcakes. Cuddles and ‘wuv you’s and kisses on both cheeks. Her face when she saw the cake. The excited screams from C and E as they played Keepy Uppy, or tried to run past daddy without being eaten.
All in all, a happy day. Happy birthday to our funny and utterly delightful E. Two!
Or, ‘Well, That Was Unexpected’. Except you can’t start anything about Valentine’s Day like that, can you? People think either something wonderfully good (‘you got engaged?!’) or something wonderfully bad (‘he broke up with you on Valentine’s Day? Oh that’s rough…’). Neither of those things apply here. Already married. Still married. Still in a relationship that we both consider to be loving and supportive and respectful.
And although we don’t really go in for the big Valentine’s Day hoo ha (for want of a better word), it does not go unnoticed. Flowers and chocolates were given, a special breakfast made, the things that often go unsaid were said.
And although I feel that Valentine’s Day is perhaps a day more for grownups than for 4-year-olds, I did a few heart-themed activities with the girls in the last week or so. C drew a whole page of hearts that she then started to colour in and assign each to a classmate. E happily painted on some hearts that I drew for her. I made some heart-shaped hair clips for C to wear today, and cut her strawberries and her peanut butter sandwich into hearts. We made heart-shaped pizzas for dinner.
And although I planned on taking the girls straight to the shops after the school pickup, the weather had other ideas. I knew that this would happen eventually, that a school pickup would coincide with a thunderstorm on a day when I had no choice but to take the younger girls with me in the double pram. Thankfully, my girls are up for adventure. I kept thinking in my head that we would get to the shops, but there came a point where I had to admit that this was just dangerous. Unavoidable, but dangerous to do any more than was absolutely vital.
Unfortunately, to be safe means crossing at a set of lights instead of jaywalking a major road near the crest of a hill. Unfortunately, by not jaywalking we were forced into taking a detour then another to avoid flooded intersections and roads. We still had to walk next to a flooded road and we witnessed some cars being sensible, taking turns, driving slowly, driving near the middle of the road, being mindful of our presence. And then there were others, who drove close on the tail of the car in front, who stayed near the curb, who didn’t slow down and seemed to enjoy the big wash of water they produced.
Fortunately, we made it home in one piece. As the rain was starting to ease. And just in time for the Bureau of Meteorology to send me a notification: Severe thunderstorm warning. We laughed and laughed and laughed.
Fortunately, school doesn’t start until 9am. I predict tomorrow morning will be spent with the hairdryer: homework folder, homework book, leaflet on fundraising, and school shoes are all sodden. What fun.
It feels an age since I’ve shared what we’ve been reading. I’m putting this down to E being such a different child from C, on top of our home life being a wildly different home life. C would always have a story or five before bed. E was resisting more and more until I just gave up. It makes me sad to say it but it was just too hard. There was only so much I could force her to sit with me and read so I put her story time on the back burner, knowing that we would come back to stories at some point.
And we did. At this point, I would like to thank Blue. E was given Verandah Santa and Bob Bilby last Christmas. Throughout the year we were also given Sleepytime and Hammerbarn. These books are soooooo well-loved. So much so that I’ve had to remove Sleepytime from sight as E would get obsessed with it and turn the pages too quickly and we all know how that goes. We haven’t found our groove with story time just yet but I am relieved that books are being rediscovered.
C has continued to have at least one story a night and – great excitement – was finally allowed to borrow from the library at school last week. Three nights since then, I went by her bedroom when she was meant to be asleep and heard her telling her toys all about what was in the stories. Libraries are fantastic. She’s a bit sad that she has to return the books tomorrow but rather excited that she can then choose MORE books to borrow! Bliss.
That brings us to S. I am sure that her experience of books is much more interrupted than it was for either of the older girls. “Here is the blue sheep, and here is the WHAT WAS THAT? What was that sound? Ok put that down… And here is the red sheep. Here is the bath sheep E, stop, get down from there, thank you, and here is the bed sheep. But where is no, I said NO, hands off! Gentle… gentle… no sweetie she needs to breathe. Thank you, maybe we can play with it next? But not shoved into her face like that…” etc. That said, this week has been especially lovely. E is past the stage where she pulls so enthusiastically (or intentionally) that any flaps from lift-the-flap books are ripped off. S is in the stage of knowing that this bit of coloured cardboard moves and there’s another picture behind it and ooh look! It’s an elephant! So I have been able to read Dear Zoo (Rod Campbell) to both of them, together, delightfully. This coming week we will also revive some of our other flappy books and I may even get inspired to fix the no-longer-very-flappy books.
Other books that have been read often this week are Kissed by the Moon (Alison Lester), and Where is the Green Sheep (Mem Fox and Judy Horacek). The former was for S from the Christmas Eve Book Fairy. It was one I borrowed from the local library when C was a baby and I love it. I have read it a few times with all girls around me this week and that is possibly one of my highlights. A beautiful wish for my babies. The latter had been hiding under a sofa for a time so its rediscovery has been a joy. Every pair of sheep brings smiles. Every reading brings smiles.
What would you like for breakfast? -Waffles! – Ohhhh sorry sweetheart, there’s not enough time this morning. It’s a daycare morning. Or, daddy has to get to work early. Or, it’s already nearly 8 and waffles take aaaaaages.
We have had this conversation multiple times. Occasionally, I would find a recipe and prep it the night before, hoping for a delicious and nutritious and enjoyed-by-everyone breakfast. Prepping the night before, though, excludes morning-of waffle enthusiasm.
I grew tired of this situation. I found a recipe that, I hoped, ticked all the boxes. I let the girls watch shows in the bedroom while I made it. Zero prepping happened the night before.
Also, did I mention blueberries? And toddlers? And put them together and suddenly you have a blueberry fiend, a child who will eat nothing but blueberries, who will spy them in the most secretive of hidey-holes and point and drop their chin and look up at you with big dark eyes and say, ‘boo, bear? Peeeese?’ until you cave and magically find the blueberries you thought you had hidden but obviously not well enough because a toddler saw them from the next room. And you seem to go through three punnets a day and every shopping trip you need to buy blueberries and if you happen to have a toddler with you on a shopping trip you have to suss out where the blueberries are displayed so you can sneak them into the basket without enduring the full-on meltdown that is guaranteed if the toddler sees the blueberries but isn’t given the blueberries that have not been washed nor even paid for yet.
And then the toddler will veer left gastronomically and suddenly blueberries are forgotten and all they will eat is butter and grapes and maybe cheese. Punnets of blueberries collect in hidden corners of the fridge. And then you will move an item one morning and find – joy! – a punnet of forgotten blueberries. Perfect for on top of the waffles you’re making. Except… these are obviously old blueberries. Not so old that they are turning fuzzy and white, but maybe a few are visibly wrinkled and some are a bit squishy. But, wait a minute. Wouldn’t that be a nice addition to the waffles?
Waffles have evolved. I no longer do the full batch, but make my brain work (remember to halve it, remember to halve it, remember to halve it) and enjoy the half measurements on our measuring cups. Blueberries are added, not usually a full punnet, definitely not a fresh punnet, but blueberries nonetheless. There are plans in my brain for incorporating other overripe fruits.
Are these delicious? I think so. Are these nutritious? Yes, definitely (high in protein, high in calcium, low in sugar). Are they enjoyed by everyone? Ye- oh, ah, let’s see, wait a minute… actually no. No they are not. C enjoys them, and will eat a whole one without prompting, and will also eat one at afternoon tea (but not at school – they might be a bit tricky to eat quickly) Glenn doesn’t mind them, when he’s not dashing off to work. I enjoy them. S is not up to blueberry waffles yet. And E… they are a hard no for E. Not just these waffles but every sort of waffle. Oh well.
The current version of Sunday morning waffles is this (recipe adapted from drink-milk.com):
Half of 1 1/4 cup milk (soooo… 155mL or so… 2/3 cup approximately)
1/3 cup Greek yoghurt
1 large egg
Small squirt of vanilla bean paste
A generous squirt (1 teaspoon if you do measuring) of rice malt syrup (or other liquid sweetener)
A generous shake of cinnamon
A dash of cardamom
1 cup plain flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
Pinch of sea salt
Some slightly overripe blueberries or other slightly-past-it fruit
Turn on your waffle iron.
Mix all the ingredients together, adding fruit at the end for a gentle stir-through.
When it’s ready, spray waffle iron with non-stick spray. Pour some waffle mix in the middle of the waffle iron (a loaded dessert spoon works well). Close the iron and cook until … cooked. Remove waffle to a plate, repeat with remaining batter.
Nice served with butter and maple syrup; nut butter; banana; blueberries.
To freeze, allow to cool. I cut ours in half before putting them in freezer bags and labelling with a Sharpie. Apparently they last for 3 months in the freezer, but we tend to finish ours in about 2 weeks. To thaw, toast on a low setting.
Is it possible? Surely not. E turns two in less than two weeks. This small person, who takes up so much space in our lives and our hearts, who is showing so much development and growth on new levels every day, who is so capable of so so much – she’s only one.
This small person, who loves drawing and painting but not so much on paper, who will maybe draw a little bit on a scrap of paper before scrunching it up and, preferably, dipping it in any nearby spilled water before sliding it to the floor then dropping all the pencils to the floor while saying ‘uh-oh’ as she watches each one hit the floor. Who will tell me each colour as she chooses it, or asks for it, or hands me the pot or the tube saying ‘blue, lid, o? Peeeeese’ with fists up and out and elbows in. Who consistently goes straight to mixing blue and red then tells me, when I ask, that her favourite colour is pur-pur.
This small person, who is turning babble and nonsense syllables into understandable sentences. Who has evolved from the very sincere, very dramatic, totally unintelligible streams of sound. Who will now say ‘nigh nigh, wub youuuuu’ or ‘she you layer, love you’ and totally and utterly melt my heart. Who will go to the step ladder and hold its side and say, with a Please Face to rival Bluey, ‘mih?’ (mix), hoping that I will consent to some baking. Who will be dancing at the kitchen entrance, be asked to take C’s water bottle to her, have it handed to her from the freezer, and toddle – that particular toddler movement that is faster than a walk but not quite a run – look down at the bottle in her hands and exclaim ‘ooh, fweezy col!’ Who will spend a good 10 minutes of a post-school-drop-off walk singing out ‘daddyyyyy…. Where are youuuu?’ Or tell me, pointing at daddy’s sofa, ‘daddy were’ (daddy work). Or go to where she thinks I am, exclaim ‘huh!’ when I’m not there and then call ‘mummy…. Where ARE you???’
This small person, who will see that daddy has snacks in the kitchen and she will run away down the hallway to the bedroom while saying, almost to herself, ‘co’ (cot’), coming back to a slightly mystified daddy to put on that Please Face again for some chippies please as she has just put her dummy in the cot, where it belongs. A pant of excitement, ‘dadyou’ (thank you), and toddling off with her cracker or chip or blueberry to sit on one of the child-sized chairs to eat her prize. Who will hand you her finished yoghurt pouch saying ‘hinny’ (finished’) or just go to the kitchen and put it in the bin herself. Who will amaze her daycare teachers by clearing her plate and cup after eating. Who will ask, repeatedly, day after day after day, for ‘ah, ah, oooh?’ Which is, of course, an ice cube? And she will often make sure she has her bowl (‘bo’) for us to fill with ice cubes.
This small person, who will climb onto our bed, or remove a lid, or reach something we thought was out of reach, and exclaim ‘I did it!’ Who will be in the bath and lean out and point to toys and when I get it wrong will say ‘no-no’ and keep pointing to what she wants without getting frustrated until I get it right and she nods excitedly and takes it saying thank you. Who will be holding something and say ‘ready, deddy, gooooo’ and you just have to be aware that she is about to throw and she can really throw and although she often throws down the hallway she sometimes just throws a plastic play picnic plate across the living room to clock you on the nose.
This small person, who loves loves loves singing and dancing. Who will hear the start of the Encanto! soundtrack and seize up in excitement, shake her hands in front, and sing and dance along to the music. Who will scream GOOOOOOOOOOO!! like a banshee at the same point, every time, in Let It Go. Who will sing, in tune, the last word or two in most of the songs from a handful of Disney movies. Who will sing the last word or two or three of every phrase in her favourite tv show tunes.
This small person, who knows her way around an iPad. Who will say, with that killer Please Face, Bluey? to ask if she can watch shows. Who will ask to get out of the cot when it is still too early for anything, give me a cuddle, ask to get down, pick up the iPad from the chair, try to pull my charging cord from my phone but allow me to do that so I can plug it in to the iPad then unlock it and launch ABC Kids. Who is only allowed to use an iPad for ABC Kids and can pause an episode and press the X to exit that episode and press the arrow to go back to a different selection of shows. Who apparently has favourite episodes of certain shows, and regularly picks (saying the correct name) ‘Dark’ for Bing, ‘Rain’ for Bluey, ‘The Dentist’ for Peppa Pig. Who is actually only allowed to use it for ABC Kids but has been known to leave that app and launch all sorts of other apps including, her favourite, the Music app when she sees the Bluey icon up there but will get upset because she actually really wants to keep watching Bluey and not just listen to the music. Who has been known to get the split screen happening. Who will quite confidently get onto the YouTube app and start scrolling through Cocomelon and Wiggles and Laurie Berkner and Super Simple Songs and Frozen and Frozen II and Moana and Encanto!
This small person, who mostly likes to just wear a nappy because the weather is hot, but can take off that nappy and say ‘toi, lee?’ and then goes through all the steps of going to the toilet before running away from any fresh nappy, squeak-laughing with mischief all the way. Who can half get her own clothes off and on. Who gets herself in and out of the bath with ease, whether or not it’s what she actually wants. (I know. Toddlers.) Who replies with utter mischief and cheekiness. Hm? Whaaaat?! Lear-lee! (Really!)
I am in the ocean. A wave will approach and I can see it approach and I can feel the inevitability of its arrival, the crash as it breaks over me, the busyness of the swirling water, the pull as it returns to the ocean only to be replaced by another after a brief spell of calm. It is glorious, delightful, exhausting. When the sand beneath my feet starts to crumble things begin to be unsteady. Move too far away from the shore and there is zero respite from the energy required, no breaks even when there is no crashing wave because just to stay alive means staying on top of everything, treading water or clawing back to the surface.
Floating is not an option.
This is parenthood, family life for us right now. There are things I would love to do but even getting everyone to the shops (a 10 minute walk) is momentous these days. And although I love love love this ocean, it is hard to contemplate swimming farther afield. Swimming farther afield involves carrying, to varying degrees, children. I was never great at towing people when lifesaving.
A few weeks ago, Glenn applied for a few days off work. We could go on a holiday! Take the girls to the Gold Coast and let the younger two experience the beach for the first time! Or, ok, maybe not as far as the Gold Coast but maybe the Wynnum and Manly foreshore. Or, yeah, being more realistic, maybe South Bank? And its fake beach? Yeah.
In the end, while feeling like it may involve a mammoth amount of organisation, I didn’t prep anything at all beforehand. No hours the night before prepping snacks, nappy bag, towels, sunscreen, spare clothes, hats, drinks. We managed to do all of that in the morning – and still leave in the morning. Amazing.
When there, we were part of a crowd. Not so much of a crowd that it was unbearable, more like the size of crowd that makes you feel like you are part of the story, some of a whole lot of people doing the same thing at the same time at the same place. A family outing to South Bank on a hot and humid and sunny Sunday summer morning, for some beach time and water experience and ice cream. It felt like we were being … normal.
Did the girls enjoy themselves? Oh. My. Goodness. Did they ever.
C knew what was coming and was excited in anticipation then just loving, absolutely loving, the whole experience of beach with sand and water and splashing and water and playing and water, then crazy fountains with unpredictable water, then ice cream, ICE CREAM!!! She was allowed to have rainbow ice cream, with sprinkles, in a cone, and what’s this? You can eat the cone? And it’s delicious?! Wow!
E had no idea what hit her. A first beach experience. She must have thought this was the greatest bath ever. The screams of anguish as I pulled her out and dragged her over the hot sand onto the hot path were nixed when we arrived at the crazy fountains. The rollercoaster of emotions is such a toddler thing. Total and utter delight when the water worked. Total and utter sorrow when the water stopped. Repeat. Then, annoyance at being contained in the pram again but ooh what’s this? Rainbow ice cream in a cup? With sprinkles? I will eat three mouthfuls. That is all. Thank you but no more.
S was very much S. Fell asleep just before we arrived at the beach, so… no beach for her. Woke when we were at the fountains. Stayed very chill. I held her for a bit and she checked out the trees and the water… and the trees again… (I’m not sure if it’s a normal third child thing, but I didn’t take any – ANY – photos of her. At all. Thankfully, Glenn took some of me holding her. )
Did our girls sleep well that night? Er…. No. I thought C would be worn out, thoroughly exhausted, but still she didn’t sleep until around 8:30. E missed her nap so actually fell asleep in her high chair after dinner, stayed asleep as I picked her out and changed her nappy and put her in pyjamas and got her into the cot but then she was coughing and coughing and waking frequently until after 10pm.
Did we find it hard? Yes and no. It was in some ways, mostly because it was new and different and uncharted territory for us, but we also just got in and did it. No major disasters, or anything crucial left behind at either end, or inexplicable tantrums, or injuries or disappearances or even sunburn. In the post-outing rundown, it seems we did ok.
Did we feel proud of ourselves? Why yes. Yes we did. Our first big family outing, purely for pleasure, to a busy place with lots of people and two potential runners. And, most of all, we made our way to a different spot in our ocean. It was tough, it was different, it required both of us being totally switched on and on board, but it was also really satisfying. We did something that families DO. We made memories. We took fantastic photos. We got out of our comfort zone. Still glorious and delightful and exhausting but so, so worthwhile.
It finally happened. On Monday our big girl started big school. This was the day I had thought about on and off since C was a little baby and we would walk past and I would tell her, that’s where you will go to school. I worried that she might be an anxious school-goer, or that she might be teased for whatever reason, or she might be a trouble-maker. I hoped that she would be keen and make friends and be kind and behave herself.
Last year C went from being keen (the day after her fourth birthday she asked if she was going to school now? Because she was starting school when she was four and now she is four that means she is going to school, right?) to actually a bit unsure about this whole school thing (I suspect when the boys at daycare started playing rough because, well, hormones), to a bit nervous but maybe a little excited … to EXCITED!!! Very excited but also with an underlying nervousness that she wouldn’t name but was apparent in her behaviour that pushed all of my buttons for the whole month and had me screaming into the bedcovers with frustration. Ahem. Gentle parenting has been a struggle lately.
Some things have been as expected. Nervous excitement. Being very particular about crossing off each day in the 2-week lead-up calendar I drew up for her. Wearing her school uniforms as soon as she could.
Some things have been unexpected. Not needing to worry about buying stationery or school shoes or socks or hair accessories. (The school organises all of the stationery for the early years, and isn’t fussy about shoes or socks or hair.) E coming down with a raging cold the weekend before so instead of doing the last-minute things like naming things and taking children to the park for a big play to run out the nerves we were stuck at home with a clingy snotty toddler. Names were hastily put on things for Monday and I managed to make her a sandwich bag, a snack bag, and a bag tag (see my @annlikesmaking Instagram for pics).
Expected: A horrible night before, in which I went from one child to the next until I finally managed to crash into bed at about 2:20am before E woke for the day at stupid o’clock. But, zero problems getting ready in the morning (that one comes with a hefty dose of relief). First Day of School photos being a slight struggle due to sun, so much hot sun, and a reluctant subject who doesn’t really like being in photos by herself anymore.
Unexpected: the delight when seeing any and all other students walking to school, HER school, that morning. The brutality of the hill which is the sort I used to relish for running training but that was when it was just me, a much fitter and lighter me and not the current me, a bit overweight and a bit older and not quite as fit and having to push a double pram with two healthy children up a steep incline while asking an excited 4-year-old to please stop pulling on the pram. The upside of this hill is that I hope to be much fitter and healthier before too long. The downside is did I mention this is Brisbane and this is summer and hoo boy it has been hot and humid this week. Ugh.
Expected? Unexpected? C skipping and jumping with joy once we were inside the school grounds.Carefully searching the bag rack for her name, then the bottle pouches, then being surprised and happy that she is next to her friends from daycare.
A surprise for me that is also unsurprising for me: I am loving school lunches. Photos are happening. Instagram posts will be happening. Recipes are being researched and planned and baked. I am feeling a bit more like a mum.
Unexpected consequence of C being at school: I’m getting to spend more time with E. As it turns out, waaaaaay more time with E than I expected as she has apparently stopped napping. This week. (This has caused bedtimes to be all over the place and I am going a bit crazy but hey…). But before this became apparent, we’ve been having a lovely time. She has, admittedly, watched about a bazillion hours of screen time because she’s sick, but we also managed some baking which was far far less wild when it was just her and me instead of with C as well. Her language has exploded this week too and it’s been amazing to witness all of these new words and phrases and her patience with me as I work out that ‘dar’ is for dark which means she would like to wear the cat sunglasses please (dark for dark glasses). There’s a whole E amazement post coming soon.
Suddenly and inevitably, our lives have changed. Walking to and from school. Prepping school lunches. Washing school uniforms. Meeting other parents. Emails from teachers. Hairstyles. Prepping a drink in the freezer. Afternoon teas. Little snippets of a day, making a new friend, learning the rainbow and the alphabet with Auslan, going all around the school to find a cheeky green sheep. It is harder and easier all at once. I know there will be struggles and trials and situations that require tact or smart parenting or assertiveness but at this stage of her school life, I am loving it, she is loving it, I am relieved, and Glenn and I are so proud of our girl. Our big schoolgirl.
There have been so many starts. Consequently, so much of the stuff of our life has been missed here.
Like C finishing preschool and 4 years of childcare and going to prep transition mornings and finding out her big school class and teachers and starting to get uniforms. Like E moving from kisses being sometimes a little peck but sometimes ‘wahwah’ to always a little peck, moving up to the toddler room and now to pre-kindy, knowing all the actions to songs, singing the last word or two at the end of every phrase in songs from Frozen and Frozen II and Encanto! and Moana. Like S being fascinated by her hands and rolling both ways and revealing herself to be a definite redhead and smelling deliciously of burnt biscuit. Like the huge event of me taking girls to church, for the first time in 3 years, so that people keep getting confused about which girl is which as E is the age most people last saw C.
Like, Christmas. The joy of making things for everyone. The spiritual calm that comes with going to church in the lead up to Christmas so that the day is not just about getting things and eating food and hoping girls sleep on Christmas Eve so that mischief can happen.
Like, New Year’s Eve. Glenn only playing one concert so being home in time for us to be together at midnight for the first time in 5 years. But also C staying up painting with glitter glue so that she could watch the fireworks and running down the hallway shouting I’m so excited!!! then being rather disappointed at the skimpy view available from her bedroom. And E going to sleep relatively easily but then having a very unsettled night because of those 4 teeth still working their way through and then the bonus of loud, very loud, louder than they’ve ever been here, fireworks startling her and keeping her awake. And S, who normally sleeps through once she’s had a feed after her bath, waking at 10:30 and just not going back to sleep until well after midnight. What a fun start to the year.
And, why? Why have there been so many starts but no completions? Mostly E. Partly me.
E has taken to waking early. A couple of times in the last few months she has woken after 6 but usually she is awake before 5:30. Sometimes – like this morning, yay – way before 5. This morning she was awake just after 3, then S woke and wouldn’t resettle (teething, groan) and E kept looking out for her then was just… awake. And just after 4am C woke and wanted to come into our bed and suddenly the whole family is awake and there are yelps of you’re touching my leg and screams because someone is in the (perceived) wrong spot. Eventually, every morning, E gets to a point where she gets my iPad and hands it to me so I can set up ABC Kids and she watches shows and scrolls to other shows and occasionally leaves the app and gets into stocks or mail and will say ‘uh ohhhh’ repeatedly until I fix it and take her back to shows.
And I have been keeping my sanity through all this crazy time by making things. Staying up very very late and making things. Crochet. Craft. Sewing. I love it. I love creating something, especially if it is made from something that would have otherwise been discarded. Especially if it is made with love for someone I love. It is great for my sanity and self esteem. It is less great for the sleep or writing. But, new year and new plans… we’ll see. Here goes!
And, if you are keen to support me in making things do check out my sites:
These days are hard, you know? As I write this I am enjoying a rare spell of calm: big girls are watching ABC Kids on my iPad and not getting in each other’s way, I’m brewing a cup of tea and have just had the most delightful cuddle coo and smile session with my littlest. I am also permanently tired, yesterday finished at 11pm(ish), there was a toddler feed just after midnight, today started at 4:10am, I have a good whack of baby vomit on my shoulder and toddler snot on my skirt and smears of peanut butter here and there and very little patience for the rude behaviour that my biggest girl is exhibiting I think in anticipatory nerves about big school next year. Yikes.
There has been so much in our life in the last few months. Much of it medical, some of it wonderful and some… not so wonderful. But it all makes a life, all makes our life.
There has been Covid and associated hospitalisation and worry and never-ending coughing and rivers of snot. There has been the birth of our new baby, still very new, still amazement in my head that she is here and we are now a family of 5 but also that feeling that she was always meant to be here and now she is. There has been post-surgical infection with hospitalisation and worry and intense pain and weeks and weeks of nurse visits and reinfection and more pain and more antibiotics and being attached to a machine that flashes and buzzes and cannot get wet. There has been brain fog, intense brain fog that wasn’t really apparent until it started to lift. The sort that had me finally filling in the enrolment form for C for next year and stopping at the very first item – Name – and not being able to work out which name to put there. The sort that has me unable to do the simplest of crochet rounds. I no longer take for granted the ability to think things through and remember to respond to people and do more than one thing in a day.
I’m hoping that our medical life can go back to normal now. I’m hoping I don’t have to be at the doctor again until the 4 month checkup at Christmas. I’m hoping I can have more space to enjoy this time, hard as it is.
Space to enjoy and marvel at the new life that has joined us. Such a new person, with hair and eyes and nose and chin and cheeks and amazing fingers and soft skin. Space to enjoy snuggles with a little bundle, plump tummy with relaxed floppy arms and legs bent, heavy head falling into my shoulder. The warmth of a little baby, so new and delicate, needing to be close. Space to discover little things like eyelashes and eyebrows and hair and eyes and fingernails and toenails and elbows and dimples and facial expressions.
Space to enjoy and delight in her big sisters being big sisters, stroking her hair and replacing a dummy and holding her hand and getting down on the floor with her in tummy time and feeding her a bottle and being excited to see her in the mornings and after daycare.
Space to enjoy and be present in play. Taking all the girls outside or to the park, baby asleep in the carrier, big girls running around and dancing and scooting and walking along walls and picking leaves to give me ‘money’ or make me a ‘cake’ and doing ring-a-ring-a-rosie and removing sandals before standing on prickles then looking at me with a wobbly lip of betrayal.
Even though today has been tough, I am sitting here writing while the baby sleeps in her bassinet nearby and the big girls are playing calmly together with blocks and I have tears in my eyes, happy tears that this is my life. How lucky am I?!
I started this blog post in May. May, which already feels forever ago. I’ve been thinking to myself, I need to write a blog post… but first I just need to… and so now it is no longer May, not even June, but July. It’s been a big year. Here’s a quick update.
February and March saw a lot of cake. 3 of our family’s birthdays happen within 5 weeks and there was cake for those actual days and cake for parties and cake for daycare as well as cake for St Patrick’s Day and it was just so much cake. Glenn and I are not big cake eaters but I love decorating them. Actually, neither of our girls is a big cake eater either really but they are very keen helpers.
In order:
E’s birthday party (a Very Hungry Caterpillar cake)
E’s daycare birthday (cake pops)
E’s actual birthday evening at home
Glenn’s birthday
St Patrick’s Day
C’s daycare birthday cupcakes (Baby Yoda)
C’s actual birthday evening at home
C’s birthday party (Frozen themed – this one didn’t really turn out as planned but it still garnered oohs and ahhs from her friends).
Much to C’s disappointment, we have to wait until August – which seems further away than Christmas to her – for my birthday.
Which brings me to the next piece of news: we are expecting another baby girl in August! C especially is over the moon. Lately she has started singing a goodnight song to my tummy, followed by a goodnight kiss, then asking me if she’s settled down to sleep yet? Adorable. Thoughts on this pregnancy will be getting their own post soon.
And the last piece of news, which was very exciting and took up a LOT of my brain and time: my brother got married at the end of June. A wonderful, wonderful day, and we are so happy for the newlyweds. In a way, nothing much has changed though – his wife has been Auntie Alys to my girls for more than a year, and very, VERY much loved and adored by all of us. What took up so much of my time was C being a flower girl, and I ended up making the dress for her. This required a practice dress for fit and style options, then there were daycare photos sprung on us so a quick dress made for E to coordinate, then the actual dress for C, plus stockings and shoes and hair, then making a dress for myself. That one was thankfully very quick – I cut the pieces at lunchtime the day before and sewed it up that night.
I had planned on posting this earlier (much, much earlier), but in my search for photos this evening I MAY have come across photos of when the girls were born and my goodness me. I have turned into a blubbering mess. So you see here some photos of some cakes from this year, and a promise of more of the stuff of our life to come soon. Promise.
The Stuff of Our Life 