birthday party

A Simple Birthday Party

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

A few months ago: E – “for my 5 birthday party, I want”… Me: Sure.

About six weeks ago: Me – “We’d better start working out what you would like for your birthday party”.  E – “I don’t want a birthday party. I just want like what S had for her 3 birthday. That cake with strawberries”. Me: Sure. Are you sure? Because I don’t want us to get to your birthday and you decide you want a party after all. 

Hahahahahahaha

There was much flip-flopping. She wanted a party. She didn’t want a party. She wanted a party but NOT inviting these two people. She wanted a party and inviting kids from her class – remembering that school started at the end of January – who she had not told me she had ever played with. She didn’t want a party. She wanted a party.

Eventually, I took the reins. Party, BUT the whole class is invited as we are absolutely NOT playing favourites in prep at all, really. Play date at the park for whoever can come on relatively short notice and I am just bringing a cake. No food. No drinks. No games. No balloons and streamers and all the other stuff. Just. Cake. 

It couldn’t be the weekend before her birthday as that was too soon. Despite the ominous forecast for rain, rain and more rain, that meant the weekend after her birthday. Saturday is ballet in the morning – and at least three other girls in her class do Saturday morning ballet, too – and there was a school disco in the evening. Saturday was not looking great for a birthday party. Sunday. Sunday? Sunday. Glenn will be working all day but as it’s just a play in the park and I’m just bringing cake, this will be fine. Right? Yep. Fine. No problem at all.

Hahahahahahaha

This turned out to be the limit of what I could handle. The number of times I pulled the “Am I cancelling this birthday party?” card out. The number of tears that I shed as various things pushed me over the edge. The number of times I muttered to myself about the futility of trying to ice a cake in February in Brisbane what was I thinking why do I forget this every year. The stress I felt held over from the last birthday party, for C’s 6th birthday when we forgot a knife to cut the cake, the stress exacerbated by me starting to pack the things we needed for the cake like the cake knife and candles and matches WHERE ARE THE MATCHES sobbing and feeling like even the most basic party is beyond me it’s just a cake how hard is it?!

I found the matches.

I got three girls and one cake and one bag of cake-related necessities and 3 bags containing 30 party bags to the park. And girls started playing and kids started arriving and having a big play at the park, as I had hoped they would. Parents got to know each other. I found out most of the parent names and forgot at least a third of them. E played with two kids she’s never mentioned playing with before. I loved hearing her say over her shoulder as she got up and started running, “I’ve got to get more enchantments for the campfire”. In fact, E was having so much fun that when I found her and said I thought it was probably time we did the cake her response was, “No, thanks. I want to keep playing”.

Thankfully, she found me about 28 seconds later to say, “Actually, I changed my mind. I want cake now”. Thankfully, I had a mum take a photo of me with my girls instead of it just being me taking a photo of the girls. Thankfully, a mum stood next to me and helped me dole out cake and told each child to take it and sit under a tree so by the time every child had had a slice and some had had seconds, I looked up to see eight kids sitting on the big roots of a Moreton Bay fig tree with dappled sunlight splashing through as they all ate cake. Thankfully, people had to head off after cake and I wasn’t left being the Bad Mum who was actually having to drag her children away from her own child’s birthday party because dinner isn’t going to happen by staying at the party. Thankfully, one family coordinated their children and their own parents and their dogs and took one child home and came back with their car to ferry home all the presents. Thankfully, Glenn called on his way home and prepped a very simple dinner so girls could come in and wash hands and rip open presents oh my goodness me the presents and then eat and wash and go to bed and not sleep until stupid o’clock because what a day.

It was simple. It was more stressful than I anticipated. It was lovely. It was actually just what we wanted it to be. A simple birthday party for our E.

And Now She Is Four

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

For at least a month before her birthday on the weekend, E would wake up and ask, “Am I four now?” The more often she asked – the closer it got to her birthday – the more dramatic her response to “No, not yet”. A slightly disappointed “Aww I want to be four!” progressed to a slightly angry “BUT I WANT TO BE FOUR NOW” which progressed to dramatic facepalms and “STILL?!?!” I assured her that I had wanted her to be born well before now, too, but her birthday would come along eventually. I don’t think that helped AT ALL but what can you do? I even tried showing her on a calendar and that just made it worse.

It finally, finally was her birthday. Her whole-body reaction of delight and relief and happiness when I could say “Yes” to her sleepy question – well, it made my day. We made her day as special as we could, with croissants for breakfast (family tradition passed along from my side); church (where the girls – the drama! – missed out on the usual post-church ice cream because somebody ELSE who was NOT turning four was actually celebrating being ordained for 40 years and put on a barbecue but thank goodness the girls’ favourite person – a lovely girl who is nearly 10 – was there and made a lovely fuss over E); seeing a favourite honorary Auntie at the play cafe for a babycino and treats and a big play; her request for dinner (sausages); and her choice of cake. 

Whenever I asked what sort of cake she wanted for the party, she gave me a different answer. For the cake for on her actual birthday to have with family, she wanted “a chocolate cake and strawberry cake”. When we went to Woollies on Saturday and were up to the cake department, she put on her fastest feet ever, zoomed over and pointed to the pavlova with strawberries on it. Ohhhhh. Phew. Easy. I love making cakes for my family for celebrations, but also, there was a lot on over the weekend and not having to add “make and decorate a cake for family” made me just that little bit less stressed.

Last year I had decreed that birthday parties could only happen every second year. If you turn an even number, you get a birthday party (which, admittedly, didn’t work out for S last year turning two.  Oops). E was looking forward to her mermaid birthday party in the park for over a year. Unfortunately, she is a summer baby and the weather often gets in the way. In the planning stages, we could see that the weather for the week leading up to her birthday weekend was set to be raining, so any parks in our area would be sodden messes. This would make for the best day ever in her whole entire life but I just couldn’t do it. Thankfully, daycare was quite happy to put on a little party this week. We sent in cake, balloons, party hats and party bags, and let them deal with it all. Win.

Well, almost win. When I was decorating the cake (a 5-layer rainbow cake with ‘violet’ icing and Frozen snowflake sprinkles, and panicking that I didn’t know if the icing was looking enough like violet to satisfy this all-shades-of-purple aficionado), I was a little bit sad that I wouldn’t be there celebrating her party with her. I wouldn’t get to see her excitement. I wouldn’t get to see her face. I wouldn’t get to see her put as much of a slice of cake as is humanly possible in her mouth and kind of sit with it for a while before, to my amazement, managing to chew and swallow before finishing off the rest of her slice. I wouldn’t get to wipe ‘violet’ icing off her cheeks or fingers. I would only be able to imagine her face as “Happy Birthday” was sung to her around a cake with candles alight, seeing her eyes down and eyebrows raised far up in such an E expression and the widest and most delighted smile on her face as she took in all this joy for her. All this joy because E finally turned four and we love her.

Remember the Positive

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

This week has been tough. And I mean, really, really, really, tough. But when I was thinking about how tough it has been, a little voice popped into my head with ‘oh but there was also -‘ so I want to remember those things too, preferably more than the other, less positive things.

Out with the tough things. I always prefer bad news first. (Although, there wasn’t really any bad news.)

We are back to screeching baby. Not AS much in the wee small hours but that is largely because I made her a quiet activity box. It took all of my Tuesday evening. And she does play with it, just mostly by picking it up and looking up into it and flapping the flaps. (I know she will work it out a bit more over time so Second Time Mum me isn’t too disheartened.)

Screeching baby is also occurring frequently at food times. Right into my ears. She is very very loud. I am not ok. It is easier if I give her food to feed herself but she is also a fan of dropping something just for fun and then watching where it falls and I’m just not that much a fan of cleaning.

C has been continuing to need me to be with her while she falls asleep. I am ok with this – and I know I will miss it when she tells me she doesn’t need me anymore – but only up to a point. That point is about 8pm. Wednesday she didn’t fall asleep until 9pm, Thursday somewhere around 9:15. Tonight, after I was in my starting-to-get-frustrated zone especially knowing she was so down on her sleep, I resorted to patting her bottom like I did when she was a baby and toddler while singing the rainbow chameleon song. Asleep 8:15, but I was so spent it felt like 9:15 at least.

Of course, when one or both girls requires my attention for hours at night, it cuts into my Me Time. And I need my Me Time. Not just to check social media or to watch a show, but to do my craft or crochet or write. I really feel it when I don’t get to be Anna at all and have to be Mummy until exhausted and spent.

However, there were some definite delights this week.

This morning, E crawled (and she is speedy) from the play zone at one end of our place, past the books and the sofa shortcut and blocks table and tempting cords and kitchen, all the way down the hallway and into C’s room and onto her bed to wake her up. Thankfully C was happy to see her.

Riding on daddy’s shoulders has become E’s new favourite thing to do. And when up there she often does little two-tone sing-song sighs that I remember C doing as well. A sign of contentment that makes my heart happy.

Wednesday was the Australia Day public holiday. Although we’re not happy with our national day being this date, we took it as an opportunity to educate our girls in some of our culture. We did wattle paintings. We did a southern cross painting. Breakfast was like a camping big breakfast: sausage, grilled mushrooms with cheese, egg on a redback. C had her first fairy bread. We had lamingtons with jam and cream. We had sausage rolls with coleslaw and sweet potato fries for dinner. 

C has been wanting the lullaby from Frozen 2 in the evenings so guess what I’ve been learning… but so has she. And it turns out she has a great memory for melody and lyrics.

The girls had their first proper bath together. Total chaos with splashing and laughter on repeat. It was only marred by E getting her scream on because she was obviously very tired and needing to be in bed but also loving splashing in a bath with C. 

After teething for months (it felt) with one bottom tooth popping up unexpectedly early on and four top teeth playing peekaboo, all four top teeth are through. Phew.

Perhaps the highlight of my week was E starting to clap properly. C started this at 7 months and although I think I’ve been fairly good in not comparing them, this was starting to worry me. E would put her hands together but then move them up and down, or take them apart and hit the table. Until yesterday, when real and proper clapping started. I am SO relieved. And E is obviously pretty happy with herself too.

The last exciting thing is we are starting to plan E’s first birthday party. I love planning parties and working out cake and decorations and snacks and the theme and invitations. Plus, a first birthday is such an achievement. It feels especially so with E.

The best game we have been playing this week has been what I think of as Construction/Destruction. C loves to build amazing towers with blocks. E is in the pull everything apart stage. So we race. C and I try to build up as fast as we can and E pulls the blocks off and then apart. It is crazy and chaotic but loads of fun.

So here’s to a quieter weekend with easier sleep but still some fun chaos. Please.