In a big cleaning up effort this week, all the books that were strewn around the floor in the girls’ bedroom were put away. Every time I think about it, I let out some tension. I have never been good at tidying, and that is carrying over to my girls. But when we (I, mostly) can do something to make the place nicer, then I feel the benefits so strongly. So. All the books back onto the bookshelf. Next I will work on teaching them to have the books upright if possible, and spines facing out. Baby steps. (Side note, I had to explain the phrase “baby steps” to C the other day as she was hugely offended that I had apparently called her a baby.)
Books will still be sought, and I love it when there is a book that they know they want. Love it, until I can’t find it. Shoving way under the cot seems to be the new “put it away” solution but I will work on that. Thankfully, the piggy book (“Pig Out) was requested just after dawn and not in the middle of the night. It has been quite popular this week. S will point out the crazy colours of the animals, or how crazy it is that an animal is using a hairdryer. Never Pop a Penguin has continued to keep its place at the top of the popular books list. I have read it in the dark. I have read it standing up. I have read it very slow. I have read it very fast. It might be time for some Dr Seuss again soon, I think.
The other top request for girls – mostly E – this week has been Bard’s Rhyme Time. I find this to be a very annoying book. The “story” words rhyme, but the lines don’t scan very well, so putting some rhythm into it is always an effort and just not always possible. For a book that is from a brain development company (I assume – the name suggests that) one would think that this would have been ironed out before printing. And asked EVERY time the flap is lifted, is WHY IS THERE A STAR NEXT TO THE CAR that makes absolutely no sense what’s it doing there?
When E has been in one of her can’t go to sleep so asks for a story episodes this week, I have reached for the nearest book. Then tried again to make it the nearest that wasn’t a chapter book. Little Red Riding Hood (the First Readers edition) has been the closest to hand. The first time I read it, I omitted to do the wolf trying on a granny voice. I was informed of my error and given a second chance. I’m not forgetting that one again. And every time we hear the mother giving instructions, E notes that the wolf is a stranger AND that Little Red Riding Hood is going to talk to him. I never miss an opportunity to dig in with “Just look what happens when you don’t listen to your mother”, or words along those lines. Ahem. Further in the lesson of illustrations are important, this one has a page with three rather surprised-looking creatures. One of these is an owl. Why is the owl awake? Aren’t owls nocturnal? Why is the owl awake during the day when it is nocturnal and therefore should be sleeping during the day? Why does it look so surprised?
Speaking of surprised, E has also been asking for The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which was her absolute favourite book as a baby. Tonight she insisted on “eating” her way through the book, and reading all the food on the Saturday page. And tonight she also wanted to know (again) why the butterfly looks SO surprised?! Well wouldn’t you if you went to sleep as a caterpillar and woke up as a butterfly!
C and I are still reading The Secret Garden, another classic that I remember reading as a child. We have therefore also learned a bit about different accents, and cholera, and moors, and grand houses, and the class system in England in earlier times. I will find some time to watch a bit of Pride and Prejudice with her. The good one, thank you very much. Girl’s got to get an education somehow.
Christmas in May is a thing, isn’t it? I’m all for seasons of the year, and keeping some things to that season, but then girls will find a book and want it read on repeat and it just happens to be a Christmas book so what am I to do? Like, not read it or something? Crazy talk. (Same with Christmas clothing, honestly. If they want to wear the Christmas overalls I made C when she was two and has been worn randomly throughout the years and still going strong then who am I to complain??)
So. Bluey’s Twelve Days of Christmas has been flavour of the week. S and E have tried to get me to sing it every night which has its fun but really we get to the end and my tired voice mostly just says, “And a fruit bat in a mango tree” go to sleep now okay please sleep now goodnight! Which unfortunately just adds to the hilarity and they, crazily, don’t just go to sleep then and there. Weird. S then insists that the book goes to her, and she reads it backwards, usually. Nearly always like this:
S: Two! Mummy, I two!
Me: You sure are.
S: [counts to twelve] twelve guitars! So many!
Me: [clicking] Ah yes. Twelve guitars, and you saw the number two?
S: Yes, because I two! [turns pages, backwards and forwards] ribbit. Ribbit. Hehehe. [random page turning] mummy, what’s that?
Me: [knowing by now what she is looking at] yabbies.
S: snap snap. [more random page turns with the occasional ooh or aah or giggle] BLUEY/BIN CHICKEN. Mummy what’s that?
Me: [checking out which page she’s on] that’s a fruit bat. Bluey’s hanging like a fruit bat.
S: [closes book, places it about halfway along the side of the cot, stands her water bottle on it. Tries to lie down which makes the bottle fall over] Oh MAN. Not again. [repeats the bottle stand up/lying down attempt a few times before remembering to put the bottle into the rails a bit more. Lies down. Sleeps.]
E’s bonus Christmas book has been We’re Going on an Elf Chase. Lift the flaps. Trace the path. Very E things. Like also finding her engrossed in the Pop-Up Punctuation book. She is so careful, and loves them so much. Not Christmassy, but her other choice with me this week has been Thelma the Unicorn. I so love all the questions E asks, revealing her consideration of the story and the pictures and the characters.
Speaking of questions, C and I finished What Katy Did. This wasn’t Finished until I had asked her the questions that were in the back of the book and she had added her own. We have now started on The Secret Garden which meant discussions about cholera and death and transmission of diseases. What a fun end to my day.
Do you believe in ghosts? If you had asked me 10 years ago, my answer would have been a firm “No”. Absolutely not. Except, of course, for the Holy Ghost if we’re using the 1662 prayer book. Or that time when one of my older brother’s friends died suddenly in a car crash and he says she came to visit him that night. But no.
And then Glenn’s mum passed away, and even though C was not yet one, I am quite sure that all 3 of us saw Sioban that next night. C wasn’t talking yet, so this isn’t confirmed, of course. But what I saw – Sioban in her near-death skeletal body, but calmer because that battle was over, and dressed in a long swishy skirt with a colourful top – matched what Glenn described he saw.
Fast forward to a few months later, and C was now in the second bedroom to sleep. She woke up terrified one night, pointing with a look of horror at the wall next to the door. I couldn’t see anything other than what was always there, but she could clearly see something.
Fast forward even more to Monday night, and S woke up terrified. I got her out of the cot for a cuddle and she did exactly what C did about 6 years ago, but she could articulate “Scary” and “I not going in the cot”. A total of 2 hours sleep for me that night, with S falling asleep on me on the sofa while singing Skidamarink at nearly 4am.
Tuesday night, and I was really apprehensive that I may have S refusing to sleep at all. I brought out the big guns. The secret weapon. I read her Ruby Red Shoes, and then Ruby Red Shoes Goes To Paris. She fell asleep early in Paris (but I kept reading it to E who is now absolutely loving them). The other thing that helped was a little fake tea light that Glenn showed her how to hold up and say, “Go away, Monsters!” So, you know, we’re all set. This evening, though, she did say to me that she isn’t going in her cot because of the ghost so a few mysteries have some sort of – explanation? That doesn’t seem right. I’ll think on it.
So Ruby books are very much back in the favourite pile. Middle of the night wakes, and S wants me to read her “The bunny books”. Sometimes she will tell me to lie down! You need to sleep! And she takes the books from me and sits up with her soft bunny on her lap and reads them to the bunny while I dutifully and exhaustedly lie down. I am so, so glad that C would ask for these books everysinglenight for months on end, because it’s hard reading a book in the dark when all your body wants to do is lie down in your own bed and curl up with closed eyes and sleep, but when your brain gets the cue from the picture and you can just recite the words for that picture, it is easier. I confess, there are often long pauses and sometimes I
might miss a phrase
but thankfully S is not so familiar with these stories just yet so just gives me, I’m sure, a little eyebrow raise, like a teacher who is going to talk with me later about my work.
It didn’t feel like we read a lot this week. Superworm and Tiddler are still way, way up the top of the list. But then I noticed the pile of books at the end of my sofa. Just like years ago, long before S was born, and when E but really C would pick books for bedtime and a pile would develop on sofa arms and tables. I noticed the pile. I thought, you should really put those books back on the bookshelf, Anna.
So I started to gather the books, and what had started off looking like maybe 3 or 4 books just kept getting bigger. It was like Mary Poppins’ bag. Because I am who I am, of course then I started taking photographs so I could make notes of which books they were. This isn’t strictly speaking what we read just this week, but definitely in the last 9-10 days.
Tabby McTat. Zog and the Flying Doctors. Tiddler. (Side note: Superworm and Zog are in the girls’ bedroom, along with the Boy Who Ate Everything, two copies of Little Red Riding Hood and Pop Up Punctuation). Matilda. What Katy Did. Little Ash: Party Problem! Bears in a Band. The Story About Ping. Don’t Call Me Bear! Pig the Fibber. There’s No Such Thing As Monsters! A Sleepy Snorey Dino Story! (Lots of exclamation marks, I’m just noticing now). The Other Ark. Ten Minutes to Bed; Where’s Father Christmas? That’s Not My Lion… That’s Not My Reindeer… Never Touch a Grumpy Unicorn! Hammerbarn. Bluey: 12 Days of Christmas.
My goodness.
Clearly, C abhors a vacuum and has added a Dragon Girls book to my sofa arm, as well as reintroducing Matilda, What Katy Did, and bringing Black Beauty and Heidi to the sofa. Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé is still being read by me and currently resides on my current sewing project and underneath What Katy Did.
Yes. I am trying to be better at putting things away. In my defence, this book stack lasted for less than a fortnight, so there’s that.
There’s been a lot of drama lately. A lot of angst, anxiety, fear, worry. A lot of preparation.
In the end, for us it turned out to be for a whole lot of rain and a bit of wind. E would call Alfred a Drama Prince.
We got lucky. Super duper ultra lucky, and there are hundreds of thousands of people who suffered and are still suffering. We did not lose power. We did not have any disruption to our water supply. We didn’t flood. We didn’t have a tree come down anywhere near us, certainly not crushing a car or roof or whole entire house.
What we did have felt like a mini lockdown, akin to what it would have been five years ago but with an end in sight. I take my hat off to families that had to do COVID lockdowns with multiple children and no clear end.
We made it through. Life is returning to normal. Monday, daycare was still closed and school was open only for supervision of children of essential workers. By Monday lunchtime, I was turning myself into a pretzel crossing fingers and toes and whatever possible that they would be able to be back to normal on Tuesday. We were outside on Monday afternoon with girls splashing in the backyard pool and blowing bubbles when two emails came through – bam, bam – within a minute of each other. School would be open for all students. Daycare would be reopening, but please pack food as their food service is out of action this week. Can. Do.
Having made it through this Alfred Experience, I feel I have some people to thank. The usual, of course. Glenn – a rock. Unphased in the areas that matter, like shopping in a panic-ridden shopping centre and finding all that we needed and being able to plan meals and make meals and be around to give girls cuddles and have Siri play Kiss and have mini rock concerts with whoever (E, mostly) needed them.
Auntie J, who shopped for us when I had planned to pick up essentials for our emergency kit but then had 3 girls home sick so we weren’t going anywhere. She offered. I sent her a list. She delivered. I transferred her money. I breathed a little easier.
Prime Video. The girls watched about 39 hours a day… okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. But really, doing some quick calculations here, 8-9 hours a day. Up to 9 hours a day of watching mostly Prime Video. I’ll move on. It was a lot.
Bubbles. Bubbles are the best, aren’t they? Thank goodness I had restocked our big bubble mix the Friday before this all started. Thank goodness I had splurged and gone for the big 2 litre bottle. Bubbles for years. Well, months. That said, with twice-daily usage for 7 days, we used about a fifth of the bottle. A couple of Christmases ago, E was given a bubble set which has a little dish and 4 different blowers. This was the best thing ever during this time. I didn’t have to keep a hold on the massive store of bubble mix to prevent the inevitable major spill. Each girl could blow and chase and spin and pop and come back for more. On the very windy days, we could just hold the blower out and let the wind take the bubbles. And one of my favourite videos is of all girls doing “cyclone bubbles”, holding a blower out and twirling in a midst of circling bubbles. Beautiful.
Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler. Thank you. What a duo. Not a day went by that I didn’t read a Donaldson/Scheffler book. That’s such an understatement. Multiple times a day. And having S and E reciting parts of a book while turning the pages… well. That makes my heart sing. And having such interesting illustrations that girls can get lost in them, spotting connections and little details, was enormously important. There were some other books read, too, but this duo was at the forefront.
AirPods. Oh my. I only cottoned on to this in the last little while but they help so much. Anyone else tried it? Sensory overwhelm in the form of too much noise is starting to take place. AirPods in on noise cancelling, and it takes the edge off. I was hoping for the screaming children level to be reduced but no. It doesn’t really make a difference to that. But if you are having to listen to an annoying children’s show and don’t have the mental energy to switch, or are in the middle of a rock and roll party or Wicked playlist and just have too much doomscrolling to do, then this really helps.
Shelley Husband. Don’t know who she is? Spincushions? Australian Crochet Designer of the Year? Well, anyway, she is my crochet guru idol person. Her granny square patterns are *beautiful* and elevate crochet squares to art. Last year, I realised a shawl would be a good addition to my winter workwear, and I planned it out and bought the yarn. I don’t usually have the urge to crochet in summer, but I couldn’t wait to get started on it in January. It has accompanied me to swimming lessons and psychologist appointments and been my general go-to Me Time when it’s too late to start sewing. Even one side of a round helps my calm. And wowsers, did I ever need it during this time. Admittedly, there were a couple of rounds that were frogged and then frogged again and for one round, frogged a third time before I had it right, but it was the calmness of repetition with the satisfaction of seeing a growing square of beauty take shape in my hands that was essential for my mental health. (Today, with a server issue at work so no work, I finished this square. Two more to go, and then some border squares I think. This is, fittingly, the Hope square from Granny Square Patchwork in 4-ply Luxury in Amazon Green from Bendigo Woollen Mills.)
Emergency services. Not for us in particular, thank goodness, but their social media presence, keeping us informed. Emergency services and weather pages and news channels. I realise it’s a bit in the doomscrolling category but it’s also in the reassurance realm and the awareness and information department. I’d much rather “Well, thank goodness that wasn’t as bad as we feared” over “Why is it so windy today?!”
Parenting accounts on social media. Nurtured First has been a favourite lately, but any account – I’m not talking the ones that make me laugh with their representations of what parenting is like in the real world (although a little levity is always a good thing), but the ones that are there to help – accounts that remind me of things that stop me losing it in the face of things that make me lose it. I doubt my neighbourhood appreciates it, but I have noticed a difference in my frustration levels, and a definite rise this week in intentional calmness. I mean, I have a looooooooooooong way to go there, but there were times when I COULD have exploded but I didn’t.
The best of the parenting accounts for me – and “parenting account” is nowhere near the complete picture, but it has been my saviour and well I could go on and on and on and on – is The Occuplaytional Therapist (OPT). Without her and her posts over the years, this whole Alfred thing would have been a markedly different experience for us. Through her, I became more aware of the why of children’s behaviour. Another viewpoint. A better understanding of child development. All of the things. All of the things that meant I could grasp that C needing to have quiet and routine and an active role in preparation was the way she was coping, and that E was letting out big emotions with loud sounds, and to tell her to stop that and be quiet would help C but then stifle E and then we would likely have different problems to deal with. S needing cuddles for hours and hours was her comfort and what a relief that I kind of needed S cuddles too and wasn’t touched out. C apparently bossing E around was not really about being in charge or being in control or better than her, but needing to establish some control when things were feeling out of control. E needing loud – to be loud herself, and to have loud rock music on – was so not helping me, but coming from the understanding that it was her out, combined with those lovely AirPods, made it easier to bear, especially when followed by the amazing handsies we do at bedtime. So the OPT has opened up my sight to the why, which has helped me, you know, not lose my cool at every single thing every single time. Baby steps.
This list is not complete, of course, but these are the people and things I thanked in my head at the time and thought I should really put it out there as part of the stuff of our lives. Thank you.
What to read with young girls in the event of an impending cyclone.
What young girls will ask to be read in the event of an impending cyclone.
What to read to escape from the anxiety of an impending cyclone.
What girls want to be read after the threat of the cyclone has passed and we are stuck with rain and rain and rain and rain.
There have been new favourites. There have been old favourites. There have been books unearthed by curious hands. Comfort books. Books that have things for fingers to do, like touching textures or moving a bee around a maze (which has turned out to be surprisingly comforting for all of my girls, rather like a finger labyrinth). New-enough books that they are still “not boring” to a nearly-7-year-old.
In our emergency kit – which ended up being a chair in the main bedroom with a pile of leaf blankets, filled water bottles and a soft bunny toy and a pile of books – I put Matilda, a Dragon Girls special edition, Never Touch a Grumpy Unicorn, Tiddler, Superworm, Tabby McTat, Hammerbarn, Busy Bee, and Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé.
We did not need our emergency kit. It was quite windy on Friday night, and I started to worry about the window nearest my bed. Girls slept right through, solidly, like they were exhausted from all the waiting and then just wanted to wake up to no more cyclone. Sleep was tricky for Glenn and me. I was worrying about trees and windows. Glenn had E next to him (she comes in most nights) and it was not one of those nights where she is asleep and still but rather one of those nights where she is asleep and you cannot wake her but she is flapping around like a gasping fish. Still, it was rather comforting to have this Just In Case emergency kit an arm’s reach away.
I woke up the morning after the cyclone that wasn’t a cyclone anymore to quiet. Such quiet that I thought maybe we were, bizarrely, in the eye of the cyclone. We were not. It was still sitting over the islands and we were calm because the cyclone threat had passed. And E asked me to read her The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which she wanted so many times when she was a baby that her 1st birthday cake was inspired by it. She wanted it repeatedly Saturday morning, and often since then, and now puts her hand over my mouth for a couple of the pages so that she can say the words herself. This afternoon was also a Very Hungry Caterpillar jigsaw puzzle festival, with Sage doing one of our set of four puzzles over and over and over for at least an hour, and then the other girls joining in with the other puzzles. Milo Goes Bananas has also been a popular choice this week, as well as Goodnight Baby Moon, and Slinky Malinki.
E has started “Just going to the red bookshelf for another book. I be right back” when she can’t fall asleep, and this evening I could see she was in the indecisive muddle that comes with too many choices poorly displayed. Tomorrow daycare is closed and school is supervision only so we are all staying home again, and although the girls probably think they will spend the day jumping up and down in muddy puddles, or at least the growing swimming pool in the garden, some of tomorrow will be spent reorganising the books.
Well. It has been a while since I have memorised a book from reading it so much. Some that are in my repertoire are Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes; Time For Bed; Where Is the Green Sheep?; and This and That. The number of times S – who is currently fighting her worst ever cold – has asked, “How about we read Tiddler?”, or said “Read me Tiddler”, or “Let’s read Tiddler”, has resulted in me reading it any number of times, back to back, at all hours. It’s not quite entrenched in my brain just yet but I reckon by next Sunday it will be. It is becoming her comfort book, her go-to, her first choice for reassurance.
Books also saved us when I took S (with E as well) to the doctor on Friday. A midday appointment, that may or may not be running late, with one child who absolutely hates being at the doctor’s – I mean, chances are you’ll get stabbed (vaccinated), so I see her point – and was not very happy about being strapped into a stroller when she has recently gained a fair bit of freedom in that department, and another child who was being dragged along and not really enjoying being told to do anything like stay close and not climb on all the chairs because it’s not your own personal indoor gym. Dreading the experience, I felt like a magician when I said, “Let’s see if we have any books in here… Oh look, Hammerbarn!” And the mood switched from grizzly anxious to the calm familiarity of a well-known, well-loved book to hold and read and look at.
E has been fascinated by Letters From Felix this week, one of those perfect books for her age. A favourite toy, lost on holidays. Letters from all over the world. Actual letters that are a sheet of paper folded inside an envelope in the book. Lots of fine motor skill practice has happened this week, all in pursuit of letters and curiosity.
C was ecstatic on Tuesday this week, as she could borrow two of one of her favourite chapter book series from the school library. And then she read them both in about half an hour that night and then fell right asleep. The EJ Spy School series even inspired her birthday party last year. Then on Thursday, when homework came home, she was ecstatic again as her home reading book was an Ella and Olivia book. Usually she rolls her eyes at how simplistic the home readers are, but this week she read it without prompting more than once.
I have been making progress on Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé, with lots of downtime cuddles happening and no shopping or park plays or any outings whatsoever. I am so enjoying it, as I knew I would, but I am also feeling like I fell asleep in a show and woke up in the next series. I suspect some books in between Chocolat and Peaches will be in order soon.
As an aside, as today is Dr Seuss’ birthday, we had green eggs for breakfast. This sounds like more of a novelty than it really is, as Glenn makes “Baby Yoda eggs” (steamed eggs with spinach) on many weekends. But green eggs (scrambled eggs made with eggs whizzed with kale and avocado) was it for breakfast. C acknowledged what was up, but E and S were a bit more puzzled, even though I explained that it was Dr Seuss’ birthday and he wrote that book, Green Eggs and Ham… And even though we have quite a selection of Dr Seuss books, we don’t have THAT book, and the girls didn’t want to read any of his other books. To be fair, they were quite keen to watch anything they could that was based on a Dr Seuss book, but that was about it. Happy birthday, Dr Seuss.
This was a week of magic and whisperings and tall tales and superheroes, of champions and quests and adventure and teamwork. And punctuation.
This was a week that C continued in her Geronimo and Thea Stilton obsession but also branched out to some Rescue Princesses and Magic books. A week that I am sure she read at least three of the Magic books (I’m not yet sure of their series name) but then thought she had lost Rainbow Magic and was devastated for all of Friday afternoon and evening and all of Saturday and thank goodness I found it somehow at the bottom of the pile of clean washing waiting to be sorted on Sunday. I’m quite sure this girl must dream of magical mice riding magical unicorns solving mysteries in the magical kingdom of Sparkles or something.
This was a week that I had to keep rereading the chapter I am up to in Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé because every time I read it I was interrupted by children needing me to do something or to jump on me or to cuddle me so fully that all I could do was surrender and hope I didn’t break an elbow or wrench a shoulder as I put the book away.
This was a week that E “borrowed” a book from C’s impressive stash and curled up on my sofa to “read” it. The intensity! This girl is so ready for Big School and learning how to read like a Big Kid.
This was a week that S asked me, often, to read her a story. It is finally clicking into a comfort thing for her. On Saturday I wasn’t well and my perceptive 2yo did what she always does and kept herself close to me, as if to keep checking on how I am, and eventually I asked if she wanted a story and she became my weighted blanket as I read her this week’s favourites: Tiddler, and Superworm. Or, to be more accurate, TIDDILER, and SOOperWUMMMMMM.
C read these two books independently. S asked for them most evenings. E asked for them most evenings, and when I read to her, she would recite along with me. The. Best.
Also up there with my Things That Make Me Smile is when my girls pick a book about punctuation as their bedtime story. The last 3 nights have seen E asking for the Pop-Up Punctuation book. Yes. It is a thing. My mum (a retired English teacher, unsurprisingly) gave the girls this book and it is fabulous. I love it. Showing where and why and how for all sorts of symbols, it is gentle and informative and funny. What a find.
I have read so many stories this week. Stories to girls who are wanting to go to sleep but their sleep train has been delayed so they ask for a story instead. Stories when S is stuck in one of those dreaded 2-hour overnight wakes which you just have to ride out with no amount of anything that will speed up the process it’s just done when it’s done and you’re asleep and you only know you’re asleep when you’re being woken up by the next child needing you. S still suffers these, and as part of her Overnight Wake Routine she will inevitably ask for a story and whether or not I agree, she will manage to bend her arm into the bookshelf next to her cot and retrieve books and books and books. Her favourites right now seem to be Flood (Jackie French and Bruce Whatley), Never Touch a Grumpy Unicorn (right up her sensory-seeking alley), and The Boy Who Ate Everything, which seems to be a firm favourite for all my girls.
We had a trip to the library yesterday, mostly to return bags and bags of books but also to borrow some. C borrowed her usual Geronimo Stilton fare but branched out to Thea Stilton as well as a Pixie book, which prompted Playing Families (Pixie Land Edition) to be the game all afternoon. At the library, E was desperate to explore but also desperate to borrow some books, but also also desperate to borrow chapter books like C, so for the first time ever she borrowed some chapter books. Two books in the Little Ash (Ash Barty) series, and it was her first real experience of me stopping reading at a totally logical point, having read enough of a story for her to have been read to, but not having finished a book and having to wait until tomorrow night for the next bit.
I am pleased to report that, not quite within the 4-week borrowing time set by the library, and not quite within the confines of a calendar month, but nonetheless I am about to finish The Last Family In England. Mere pages to go. I have loved reading this book. I have loved being in this world inside this book. I have loved reading this author, who I came across by chance on Twitter years and years ago, and he struck a chord for all sorts of reasons, and I had wanted to read a book of his for such a long time. I have also been conscious that this is modelling a behaviour that I want to see in my girls. We read. We read for necessity, like to find out what signs mean and how to get somewhere and what the news is. We also read on our devices, for necessity and for pleasure. We also read actual, physical books that have been written by a person and published and printed and are a thing you can hold and smell and get right into. Reading a book on my phone is something I do, too, but it’s not the same, either for me or for my girls’ experience of my reading. Real books are in order.
Bye, darling girl! I love you! Have a wonderful day!
School is back, and holidays are done. Holidays that went better than last summer and better than feared but still … still had that feeling of gritted teeth. We’re getting through it. How much longer now? Grr.
Morning walking. Walking for physical health but also to find some space in the day, to carve it out for myself, to have the morning sun in my eyes, to breathe fresh air and not have to answer five questions fired at me from multiple sources all at once every ten seconds. Walking because looking after me in this way helps me reset and look after everybody else.
Taking myself to the bedroom for a break so that I don’t explode. Breathe. Be interrupted during that minute – that one tiny minute of 60 seconds – because sometimes girls can’t even last that long or I have left my breathing space mental break cool down time too late and then I am rushing back out to nurse the injured child or to remind girls of something like we don’t hurt others to get our own way or that sometimes it’s okay to let others do their thing and let me deal with them.
Two girls going to daycare two days a week. The pre-holiday financial stress of knowing there may be zero income to cover this but also the holiday family stress of having three girls together for all the other days so balancing it out to be two days a week of daycare and then five long and tricky days where they’re all together. The relief – such relief! – when I actually was allocated work for every single day that they were at daycare and I could work and earn just that little bit of money that meant that I didn’t have to use up my entire savings to get through the holidays.
Having that little bit of money meant having freedom to buy girls things like an ice cream on a day out, or buy sushi for them for lunch, or buy craft supplies, or buy replacement sandals when one child just stepped into a pond and when I hauled her out immediately there was only one sandal on one foot and the other was lost at the bottom of a pond and there were so many tears but she didn’t have to go home barefoot. Money that meant I could buy C black school shoes, which are not essential for this school but still a nice thing that she asked for and I knew it would help her feel Proper. Buying school shoes and realising that school socks will be better than her multicoloured rainbow unicorn socks so being able to say yes to school socks. I know this doesn’t sound like much but if you’ve been there, you know. Money that meant I could take her to the uniform shop when it opened last week and buy her uniforms, all secondhand, but not stressing that if there was nothing in her size secondhand then I would be buying new.
Big Days Out. People hearing about these massive outings and saying how amazing I am but me knowing inside that this is just because I am so far from amazing that this is the only way I can keep girls from fighting with each other all day because when they are out they are so beautifully behaved and just seem to get on better. Big Days Out that wear them out but it’s still a balancing act of Big and not so Big that they are actually worn out and get sick from exhaustion then have to stay home from playgrounds and daycare and then we implode.
Big Days Out this summer that included the trip to Bluey’s World and the day at the City Botanic Gardens playground and the trip to my brother and sister-in-law’s new place on Boxing Day where we also saw my parents and my sister-in-law’s parents and brother and it was a huge day that had girls falling asleep on the way home. There was a Big Day Out to the shopping centre to beat the heat and have girls playing in the shopping centre play areas for three or four hours. There was a mummy-daughter shopping trip that was promising to be a wonderful pre-Christmas shopping trip but ended prematurely when the heat and the sunlight and the people and the noise and the noise and the noise and the noise caused poor C to be so overwhelmed she was nearly vomiting.
There was mummy cooking more. This makes me happy but also oh my goodness the stress of trying to prep dinner just before taking girls outside when it is shady enough but they are definitely at the point of the day when they need to be outside it is real, this stress, and I finally worked out the need to prep dinner way, way earlier, like at lunchtime sort of earlier and then we managed to have maybe three nights at the end of the holidays where it was not so stressful.
Baking, both together and partially together and managing to do some on my own as girls were doing their own thing. Relishing this together time while also simultaneously finding the stress of having girls fight over the ladder and the step stool and whose turn it is to tip or stir or taste and that moment when you realise you need an ingredient which requires you to leave the preparation area because you don’t have extendable arms so there will be at least one child unsupervised next to uncontained ingredients and stove knobs.
Craft. Not as much as there could be because the mess is a big factor. Also not as much as there could be because then once they have finished gluing coloured pasta shapes to cardboard or gluing cotton wool to a plastic bottle with fairy lights inside it or making glass jars into tea light holders (actually those are quite lovely) then we have all those things in our place needing places to live because of course they cannot ever be thrown away or repurposed. They are Special.
There were regular trips to the library. I had neglected it somewhat because I feel libraries are a place of calm, for order, for quiet, and this is all the things my girls are not. Plus the lack of cooperation when I say it’s time to go meant it was a very stressful place and experience for me. However, the last few months I gave it another go and it is such a hit. The children’s area with its pretend cafe and its wall games and big armchairs and ‘doctor computer’. New and colourful and attractive and enticing books. Row upon row of chapter books for C. Indoor drinking fountains. The rituals of borrowing books and returning books.
“Hey Siri, play rock and roll music.” “Hey. Siri. Play … STOP! HEY. SIRI!!!!! PLAY. ROCK. AND ROLL. MU. SIC.” As it turns out, I have three rocking rock chicks. Especially E. They love Kiss and Queen and ABBA. All girls can now activate Siri on the HomePod. They are expert at requesting movie soundtracks and have been practising other options like Mamma Mia and I Was Made For Loving You Baby and Rock And Roll All Night. The HomePod is now unplugged as turn taking took a dive and there are only so many times I can listen to children shouting at Siri and then listening to We Will Rock You (much as I love it).
New indoor climbing equipment and balloons and outside time with balloons and scooter and tricycle and ride-on car and playing mermaids and jumping in the massive swimming pool puddle that forms when it rains a lot and the mud oh my goodness the mud that I have had to clean up because when it’s available it is the most favourite thing for the girls ever in their lives.
Even though this feels like it is over, it’s also not really over. All these things will still happen, will still be happening, for the next little while. Weekends still exist. Sick days still happen. We just have all the added extras of school and lunches and activities and girls not having to be in each other’s faces most of the time.
The Stuff of Our Life 