Australia Day. It’s a bit of a fraught occasion, and understandably so. But until the powers that be come up with an alternative day that doesn’t have the issues the current date does, January 26 is going to be the day we celebrate the good things about being Aussie. Healthcare. Education. Low gun crime. Breathtakingly beautiful landscape. Venomous creatures galore. Creatures found here but nowhere else in the world. And our food! Vegemite, Milo and Tim Tams abound in lists of typically Aussie foods and are packed carefully for overseas trips to share with expats and the curious. 

Today, though, I wanted to make a staple sweet that is on offer at every decent gathering. One that is doused in coconut and so eaten by me in a combination of duress and national pride: the lamington. As it was invented just up the road from where I lived in high school, I feel a duty to like it and bring up my girls knowing this delight of sponge and chocolate and coconut that gets stuck in your throat and demands you take a swig of your beverage of choice. Even though I am decidedly not a fan of coconut, lamingtons are impossible without it, and also if anyone comes in and says “I thought I’d change it up a bit and use crushed almonds/chopped pistachios/extra cocoa powder/chopped cranberries” or anything else then my eyebrows will go down and my eyes will narrow and I will lament the way of the world. Lamingtons are very simple. Don’t stuff it up. Here goes.

Oh. This is the easy way. The achievable way. The “I’ll just make lamingtons” way. Not the way of making your own sponge and making your own jam and milking your own cows to make the cream. Not here. 

You will need:

Bought sponge cake, preferably the double rectangular variety. 

Chocolate topping or syrup that is not too thick. If it looks like it’s set to be a science experiment in viscosity, skip it. Or buy it and water it down a bit.

Optional: cream for whipping, and strawberry or raspberry jam. The sort of jam you would have found in the 70s, none of this 100% fruit business.

Desiccated coconut. Sigh. On the upside, it uses a lot so I currently have not much left.

What you do:

Whip out your baking paper or reusable baking paper. Cover a couple of trays with the paper.

Cut your sponges into bits. How big is up to you. I don’t think there’s a standard lamington size. I went with rows about 2cm wide then cut them into three, so about 4-5cm long.

If you are doing optional filling, whip some cream. It does’t have to be stiff peaks or anything, just a bit stiffer than dolloping out of the tub. I didn’t want to do all the lamingtons filled so I started with about 1/3 cup which was too much.

Prepare yourself. I move left to right, so I recommend sponge, jam, cream, tray. The bottom of each pair of sponges gets a bit of jam on its top. The top of each pair gets some cream on its bottom. If you have a helper, you may end up with jam on both bits. This is fine. We’re not entering these in a country fair or anything. Only a scraping of jam and cream is needed. Once spread, pop them together so jam and cream are touching and corners align, and put them on a tray. 

When you have all the filled bits that you want on a tray, put that tray in the freezer for about 15 minutes.

If not filling the lamingtons, just cut as above and proceed. The next left-right work station is sponge, a bowl for the topping, a bowl for the coconut, lined trays.

Squirt a generous amount of topping into the topping bowl. Pour a generous amount of desiccated coconut into the coconut bowl. Both of these will need top-ups as you go. 

Put a piece of sponge into the topping and flop it around using a fork or something. You just need a thin layer of topping on each side. Once coated, use the fork, Luke, to lift it into the coconut. Heap coconut onto each side and flop it around. The right amount of coconut will stay on the topping. Lift your lamington onto a tray. Done! Repeat the process with the remaining sponge bits and the filled bits from the freezer.

Because this is summer in Brisbane and the humidity is real, I put the trays in the fridge. This helps the topping stay put and not melt down the sides in a fit of ennui. If there are any left in an hour, probably transfer them to a container and probably keep them in the fridge. 

Best eaten with a cup of milk or a milky tea to save you from choking on the coconut.