family life

Planning, Planning, Planning

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I am pleased to report that I am on my way to being a Planner. A List Maker. An Organised Mum. There are still some areas to sort out (PUN!) but I have my week of laundry planned (like when to wash towels and sheets; clothing is washed as needed which is almost daily) and a very loose cleaning … guide? Time to think about maybe cleaning an area? Then in January I planned my planning which was such a Me thing to do. So I now also have Food Organisation Preparation and Execution plans. I also have Planning for the Weekend plans.

As Monday-Thursday is when I work, I don’t plan on getting any baking done on those days.  Friday-Sunday, though, there are now Food Preparation Goals. Cookies. Muffins. Boiled eggs. Overnight oats. Baked oatmeal. Next level will be to keep a tally of how much of what we have in the freezer. I have plans to create a little sheet in Canva that can keep track of all of this. We also are going to start using a numbering system for our freezer to reduce what gets thrown out when we have to clean it out because it is too full, or even, avoid the too-full events entirely. All of this is making my Planning Self happy.

As Monday-Thursday is when I work, I have children with me and needing attention for Friday-Sunday. My go with the flow, let’s see what happens, children know what they want, let them play, approach … well. With experience, I have realised a number of things. When my girls are out, they get on beautifully; when my girls are home, they fight. When my girls have craft to do, there is harmony in the home; when we are home with no plan of what to do, there is chaos and fighting. Furthermore, C definitely likes to know The Plan, and E nearly always asks the night before, “Where are we going when we wake up?”

It used to be that I would get to Thursday night and groan. Not for the imminent children aspect, but because I had nothing planned or prepped for them to do. Craft is great, and letting them have free reign on the craft supplies is … you know. But when there is a plan, with something I can prep and then they have a plan, is always more successful in terms of engagement from them and cooperation and general calm and it just works out better.

So the New Way of doing things involves me starting a note in my phone early in the week, entitled “Weekend Plans 15-16 February”, for example, and then setting out Friday night dinner, Saturday breakfast – all the food things – as well as any outings we are aiming for if everyone is well, and what sort of creative activity we want to do, as well as what and when I plan on food prepping. I want to dig up our magnetic blackboard and an appropriate pen and have this more visible on the fridge, too, so C can contribute independently. Walks to daycare and school now include a question here and there of, what do you want to do for craft or art on Saturday? What do you want on your pizza on Friday? Can everyone please stay well this week so we can go to the park on the weekend, please?

Last weekend showed me that this planning doesn’t magically create a fight-free weekend. Unfortunately, this isn’t some cure-all solution for family harmony. What it does do, though, is give me an opportunity to be prepared for green pancakes and rainbow pizzas and love heart crafts and surprise paints. Planning helps.

A Snippet of Mornings

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When C started at daycare, one of her first friends was a girl, M, who was a week older than C. Just after the girls turned one, M became a big sister. When they were about to turn 3, M scored another little sister just before E was born. At one of the birthday parties (of a different daycare kid), I remember looking at the mum and thinking, wow, supermum. I asked her, “How do you ever get out the door in the morning?” And she kind of shook it off with a “Oh, we manage”, and then told me they frequently don’t get out the door in time for anything and have daycare calling them asking if they’re actually coming in today? That made my experiences of getting only 2 girls fed and dressed and out the door in what felt like 17 hours feel just a little bit more valid. 

Then that happened to us. We became a family with 3 young girls and C started school and I started a job and suddenly we were having to feed 3 independent girls and clean teeth of 3 independent girls and get clothes onto 3 independent girls who had ideas about what they were going to wear thank you very much and then get shoes onto them brush hair apply sunscreen and hats and bags and shoes and water bottles and are we ever leaving we need to do an emergency nappy change and am I actually dressed myself and can we go yet make sure you close the door behind you. And I understood what M’s mum was on about. You manage.

You manage. You find out with experience just how early everyone needs to be up to be out the door in time. You find out with even more experience what time everyone needs to be getting on with the next task. You find out with experience how to make that next task happen – well, experience, and following as many parenting accounts as possible to provide you with ideas and comprehension and solidarity. 

Those parenting accounts help enormously. Cleaning teeth! How are we getting there? Frog jumps? Kangaroo bounces? Rolling along the wall? Yes you need clean teeth. You are heading to a royal ball. A princess mermaid with breakfast in her teeth might not be allowed in.

Not to say that I don’t lose it… I mean, this happens way more than I would like. But I am getting better at staving that off. Still, it can often feel like being in the surf for just a few minutes. Here is an example.

Me: Okay girls. It’s 7.20. Time to clean teeth!

E: But I not finished yet! 

E slurps milk from her bowl while S gets off her chair holding her not-quite-empty bowl and spills a bit but takes her bowl and spoon to the sink and throws them in with such force that I worry for anything breakable that was in there. C slowly, like a sloth slowly, gets up from her chair and moves past the other girls.

Me: C, are you doing toilet first or teeth first?

C: I don’t need the toilet!

Me: You have to go to the toilet before we leave. Teeth?

C, cross: I’M ABOUT TO DO MY TEETH.

E gets up from the table and goes to daddy on the sofa who is trying to read the news. S has run down the hallway and straight onto E’s bunk.

Me: E – never mind. (I walk down the hallway.) S. S? Where are you? Oh.

S: I sleeping! (Naughty laugh followed by fake snores).

Me: That’s E’s bunk. Out you come. (E rushes down the hallway as she realises invasion of her territory).

E: S! S (drawing out a one-syllable name to be four) that’s MY BUNK.

Me: E, nappy off. Toilet.

E: But S is on my bunk!

Me: Yes, she is. How about you do the right thing for me – C, great. Getting dressed now.

E rips off her nappy, dumps it on the bedroom floor and then is happily cleaning her teeth. I take her nappy to the bin in the bathroom and C opens the wardrobe door. I go back to the bedroom.  S dive bomb corkscrews herself behind the bunk ladder (where I can’t reach her), burying her face in the pillow. I see that C is jumping to get her school dress down from the wardrobe rail so I get the dress down for her and pick out socks for her while I’m there. I hand her the dress and put the socks on her bunk rail. C holds the dress and stays still. I grab an ankle of S and drag her to the edge of the bunk.

Me: Teeth. Now.

S runs into the bathroom and doesn’t stop before barrelling into E on the step at the basin. Seeing an imminent “I was here” fight, I pick up S and move her over for a nappy change. E finishes doing her teeth, dries her hands and face and tummy, and walks out of the bathroom.

Me: E, your clothes are in mummy and daddy’s bedroom.

E looks like she is moving to the main bedroom. I take S’s pyjama pants and nappy off. As I am putting the nappy in the nappy bag, she is off down the hallway with a machine-gun naughty laugh to launch herself onto daddy. I get a nappy but then hear C growling at E in their bedroom.

Me: Girls! What’s going – C, keep getting dressed. Dress. On.

I start down the hallway with a nappy for S.

C: But she’s IN here.

Me, from the living room: It’s her room, too!

C, getting very upset: I can’t get dressed when someone else is in here!

More growling from the bedroom accompanied by naughty laughs from E. I hand the nappy to daddy and he puts it on S while I head back to the war zone.

C: She won’t move! I can’t get dressed!

Me: E, mummy and daddy’s bedroom. C, you can’t be that particular. Three of you share this bedroom. The other two have just as much right to – hello S – be here as – (S is jumping bumping her body into my legs) – you do just please put your clothes on. S, teeth.

I pick up S and take her to the bathroom basin. As I am putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, E lets out a growl-cry of frustration. I start brushing S’s teeth and call out.

Me: E, are you ok? What’s up?

E: I don’t. Want to. Wear. THIS!

Me: What DO you want to wear?

E: Idon’twanttowearthis.

Me: Yes, I – come in here.

E stomps the 2 metres or so from the main bedroom to the bathroom and looks at me with the lowest and grumpiest eyebrows she can manage. 

E: I. DON’T. WANT. TO. WEAR. THIS.

Me: Yep, got that. S, spit out. 

I wash S’s face while she does a long sound to hear the change in sound as my hand moves the water around her, then she gets the hand towel to dry her face and top.

Me: What do you want to wear then?

S runs into the main bedroom and flops her body against the side of the bed.

E: Rainbow top.

Me, running through all her tops and coming up blank: Rainbow top? Do you mean your rainbow skirt?

E: RAINBOW TOP! WITH THE SPARKLES!

I keep thinking as I go into the main bedroom to get S dressed. S does a speed climb onto the bed and I start wrangling her into undies and shorts while she tries to launch herself as quickly as possible to the other side of the bed.

Me: Ohhhhhh that one that now fits S because it’s 3 sizes too—

E: But I want to wear the rainbow top!

Me: I hear you. It’s such a nice top, isn’t it? Daycare won’t let you wear that one, though, because it doesn’t have sleeves.

E: Oh okay.

Me: How about your love heart dress?

E, doing her Sad Bingo Impression: Ohhhhkaaaay.

I finish getting S dressed in her t-shirt and hand her a pair of socks to put on herself. I get undies on E and hand her a pair of socks to put on, then I head to the girls’ room to find E’s love heart dress. C is sitting on the floor with a dress on but not done up, reading a book.

Me: C, thanks for getting your dress on. Do you need help with the zip?

C: Where are my socks?

Me: On the bunk. Do you need – stand up.

While C stands, I get her socks off the bunk then zip her dress. E starts yowling again from the bedroom.

E: I. CAN’T. DO THIS!!!

Me: Just wait, I can come and help. C, socks. (To E) Just a moment. I’m finding your (S appears)

S: I did it my byself!

Me: Well done, S. Living room for hair. C, socks on.

I collect E’s dress and take it to the main bedroom, where she is on her back and struggling as if she is getting into the world’s tightest jeans. I fix her socks for her then she pretends to be a baby as I get her into her dress.

You see? That wasn’t much, was it? Making sure everyone actually has socks on and hair brushed and hair tied back if it’s long enough and has been to the toilet if they don’t wear a nappy feels like a breeze in comparison. I mean, it’s not, but you get the idea.

Hello, 2025

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It’s probably an easy guess as to one of my goals for 2025. SO much happens which means that, also, SO much takes up my time which means that, also, SO much just happens and passes us by. Some stuff just happens or changes and it takes a little while to notice that, actually, we seem to be past that “I’m finished my food and even though I know how to say ‘I’m finished eating now’ I choose to fling the remains from my bowl to wherever I can thereby getting the message across as well as some handy throwing practice” stage. Thank goodness. Or the relatively sudden change from reading 15 picture books at night to reading a chapter book at night to reading 5 chapter books before being told to turn off the light because yes you really have to go to sleep it’s nearly 10pm. And there have been some big changes that deserve their own space. But I thought I would tell it how it is today.

First up, The Tired. The Tired that comes from Glenn playing the New Year’s Eve concerts so getting about 3 hours’ sleep. The Tired that comes from E waking up at 4.40 for the day. The Tired that comes from being ON from the first wake to the last asleep, for weeks and weeks. The Tired that comes from being “just a teeny weeny bit not very well” as E would say. The Tired that comes from not being able to sleep during the day thanks to children needing love and attention. Which is wonderful, of course, and I am loving all the huggles and cuggles coming my way, and even the cannonballs that are all the rage right now but with the *very* important rule that the person being jumped on MUST have their eyes open. Lesson learned. Ahem. Tired.

Other things I want to remember from today, this day of new beginnings and fresh starts. ABBA. S insisting on “Mummy Mia” repeatedly then dancing the joyful, carefree dance of a 2-year-old. E rocking out to Kiss with what I am coming to know as her performing face, which reminds me of a librarian caricature. C being very excited about an iPad game and about us learning French together and then reading a Fairy book and making connections, all while looking 12 or 17 with her new pixie haircut. Glenn making us a dinner that ticked (nearly) all the boxes of fancy but also not noticeably fancy so girls could eat it without worrying about “ficy” or boring, plus it was easy for tired girls to eat, plus it was sporting spinach and walnuts even though you wouldn’t know it. 

I made sure to do the things that I NEEDED to do to satisfy myself. I went for a walk in the morning. I did my skincare routine morning and evening (it has been a long, long while since that happened). I ate good, nutritious food. I baked some mini muffins. I started a list of areas to declutter. I decluttered one of those areas (the ironing board is visible once more). I repotted the 3 plants I had bought in the last week – sage, rosemary and… mint (with a bonus basil that had been hiding in the sage). I trimmed the opportunistic tomato plant. I took 2 minutes in the bedroom at dinnertime to breathe before getting onto the bath and bed routines. I gave all of my girls cuddles. I was mindful (in the receptive and thoughtful sense, not the careful sense) of how beautiful and delightful and smart and imaginative and creative and caring each of them is.

And, to demonstrate to myself that some things just don’t change – and they don’t have to, and that’s ok – I started thinking about my goals for 2025 this evening. At about 9.18pm. The main thing is, baby steps. Happy New Year!

Being Normal

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I am in the ocean. A wave will approach and I can see it approach and I can feel the inevitability of its arrival, the crash as it breaks over me, the busyness of the swirling water, the pull as it returns to the ocean only to be replaced by another after a brief spell of calm. It is glorious, delightful, exhausting. When the sand beneath my feet starts to crumble things begin to be unsteady. Move too far away from the shore and there is zero respite from the energy required, no breaks even when there is no crashing wave because just to stay alive means staying on top of everything, treading water or clawing back to the surface. 

Floating is not an option.

This is parenthood, family life for us right now. There are things I would love to do but even getting everyone to the shops (a 10 minute walk) is momentous these days. And although I love love love this ocean, it is hard to contemplate swimming farther afield. Swimming farther afield involves carrying, to varying degrees, children. I was never great at towing people when lifesaving.

A few weeks ago, Glenn applied for a few days off work. We could go on a holiday! Take the girls to the Gold Coast and let the younger two experience the beach for the first time! Or, ok, maybe not as far as the Gold Coast but maybe the Wynnum and Manly foreshore. Or, yeah, being more realistic, maybe South Bank? And its fake beach? Yeah. 

In the end, while feeling like it may involve a mammoth amount of organisation, I didn’t prep anything at all beforehand. No hours the night before prepping snacks, nappy bag, towels, sunscreen, spare clothes, hats, drinks. We managed to do all of that in the morning – and still leave in the morning. Amazing.

When there, we were part of a crowd. Not so much of a crowd that it was unbearable, more like the size of crowd that makes you feel like you are part of the story, some of a whole lot of people doing the same thing at the same time at the same place. A family outing to South Bank on a hot and humid and sunny Sunday summer morning, for some beach time and water experience and ice cream. It felt like we were being … normal.

Did the girls enjoy themselves? Oh. My. Goodness. Did they ever. 

C knew what was coming and was excited in anticipation then just loving, absolutely loving, the whole experience of beach with sand and water and splashing and water and playing and water, then crazy fountains with unpredictable water, then ice cream, ICE CREAM!!! She was allowed to have rainbow ice cream, with sprinkles, in a cone, and what’s this? You can eat the cone? And it’s delicious?! Wow! 

E had no idea what hit her. A first beach experience. She must have thought this was the greatest bath ever. The screams of anguish as I pulled her out and dragged her over the hot sand onto the hot path were nixed when we arrived at the crazy fountains. The rollercoaster of emotions is such a toddler thing. Total and utter delight when the water worked. Total and utter sorrow when the water stopped. Repeat. Then, annoyance at being contained in the pram again but ooh what’s this? Rainbow ice cream in a cup? With sprinkles? I will eat three mouthfuls. That is all. Thank you but no more. 

S was very much S. Fell asleep just before we arrived at the beach, so… no beach for her. Woke when we were at the fountains. Stayed very chill. I held her for a bit and she checked out the trees and the water… and the trees again… (I’m not sure if it’s a normal third child thing, but I didn’t take any – ANY – photos of her. At all. Thankfully, Glenn took some of me holding her. )

Did our girls sleep well that night? Er…. No. I thought C would be worn out, thoroughly exhausted, but still she didn’t sleep until around 8:30. E missed her nap so actually fell asleep in her high chair after dinner, stayed asleep as I picked her out and changed her nappy and put her in pyjamas and got her into the cot but then she was coughing and coughing and waking frequently until after 10pm.

Did we find it hard? Yes and no. It was in some ways, mostly because it was new and different and uncharted territory for us, but we also just got in and did it. No major disasters, or anything crucial left behind at either end, or inexplicable tantrums, or injuries or disappearances or even sunburn. In the post-outing rundown, it seems we did ok.

Did we feel proud of ourselves? Why yes. Yes we did. Our first big family outing, purely for pleasure, to a busy place with lots of people and two potential runners. And, most of all, we made our way to a different spot in our ocean. It was tough, it was different, it required both of us being totally switched on and on board, but it was also really satisfying. We did something that families DO. We made memories. We took fantastic photos. We got out of our comfort zone. Still glorious and delightful and exhausting but so, so worthwhile. 

Early Starts and New Starts

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There have been so many starts. Consequently, so much of the stuff of our life has been missed here. 

Like C finishing preschool and 4 years of childcare and going to prep transition mornings and finding out her big school class and teachers and starting to get uniforms. Like E moving from kisses being sometimes a little peck but sometimes ‘wahwah’ to always a little peck, moving up to the toddler room and now to pre-kindy, knowing all the actions to songs, singing the last word or two at the end of every phrase in songs from Frozen and Frozen II and Encanto! and Moana. Like S being fascinated by her hands and rolling both ways and revealing herself to be a definite redhead and smelling deliciously of burnt biscuit. Like the huge event of me taking girls to church, for the first time in 3 years, so that people keep getting confused about which girl is which as E is the age most people last saw C.

Like, Christmas. The joy of making things for everyone. The spiritual calm that comes with going to church in the lead up to Christmas so that the day is not just about getting things and eating food and hoping girls sleep on Christmas Eve so that mischief can happen.

Like, New Year’s Eve. Glenn only playing one concert so being home in time for us to be together at midnight for the first time in 5 years. But also C staying up painting with glitter glue so that she could watch the fireworks and running down the hallway shouting I’m so excited!!! then being rather disappointed at the skimpy view available from her bedroom. And E going to sleep relatively easily but then having a very unsettled night because of those 4 teeth still working their way through and then the bonus of loud, very loud, louder than they’ve ever been here, fireworks startling her and keeping her awake. And S, who normally sleeps through once she’s had a feed after her bath, waking at 10:30 and just not going back to sleep until well after midnight. What a fun start to the year.

And, why? Why have there been so many starts but no completions? Mostly E. Partly me.

E has taken to waking early. A couple of times in the last few months she has woken after 6 but usually she is awake before 5:30. Sometimes – like this morning, yay – way before 5. This morning she was awake just after 3, then S woke and wouldn’t resettle (teething, groan) and E kept looking out for her then was just… awake. And just after 4am C woke and wanted to come into our bed and suddenly the whole family is awake and there are yelps of you’re touching my leg and screams because someone is in the (perceived) wrong spot. Eventually, every morning, E gets to a point where she gets my iPad and hands it to me so I can set up ABC Kids and she watches shows and scrolls to other shows and occasionally leaves the app and gets into stocks or mail and will say ‘uh ohhhh’ repeatedly until I fix it and take her back to shows.

And I have been keeping my sanity through all this crazy time by making things. Staying up very very late and making things. Crochet. Craft. Sewing. I love it. I love creating something, especially if it is made from something that would have otherwise been discarded. Especially if it is made with love for someone I love. It is great for my sanity and self esteem. It is less great for the sleep or writing. But, new year and new plans… we’ll see. Here goes!

And, if you are keen to support me in making things do check out my sites:

Redbubble: annagraphica.redbubble.com

Madeit: madeit.com.au/cassiannacraft

Instagram: @annalikesmaking and @cassiannacraft