family

Waiting For Alfred

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Wednesday. Early morning walk. Not nearly as busy as usual. Very few bikes. Ferry terminals with closed gates. Mentally earmarking the trees I think will come down before the weekend, and the buildings they will damage. Overcast. Quiet. The sort of quiet that I imagine happened around the first Easter. 

No birds.

All the dogs on edge. Sirens cutting through at 11.10am. Taking girls outside in the morning and afternoon to run off anxiety and be in a larger space than inside. Scooters and strollers and bubbles. Every time a gust of wind made its presence felt, C would look up and say, “The cyclone’s here”. 

Cyclone prep. Making a candle. A candle so bright in its pinkness I can’t look at it directly. Knowing each one we make helps C feel a bit calmer and prepared. Tidying the balcony, which turned out to be a much more massive task than anticipated. So much dirt. Noticing that the much narrower balconies of the next door townhouses are not at all cleared until we are nearly finished with ours and then magically people appear to pull their outdoor furniture inside and rearrange their plants. 

Experiencing the differences in my girls, magnified. Being aware and mindful of the way each of us is coping, or trying to cope, and trying to function, and how the experience is being processed for each of us.

S is the easiest to deal with. Cuddles. Long cuddles. Mummy or daddy, doesn’t matter, but cuddles. When we are outside she is more likely to just sit and watch, not participating, not doing her own thing. Just watching.

C is needing the comfort and escape of iPad time. Watching shows. Arcade games. Mathletics. Or reading real books. Needing to play with her toys like never before. Needing quiet time as sensory overwhelm is a real and big thing for her and sensitivity is high.

Which would be easier if E didn’t get her anxious out with loud and sudden sounds. Do you want cereal for breakfast? OKAY! Does anyone want to help me make a candle? ME! I WANT TO HELP YOU! And being set on what she wants, too, so that nobody can share whatever it is with her.

Glenn is coping by organising food to the max, and by almost obsessively scrolling to find all the weather information as well as the tidbits of what our local friends are posting.

I am anxiety-crocheting. At least twice a day I need some time out from being a cyclone mum or a sick kids mum and just have the comfort of the rhythm of skip ch, 3tr in next stitch, et cetera.

I also realise that it will be nice for all girls to have a comfort blanket of some sorts for when the winds are rough and loud. C and S already have a leaf blanket so now is the time to finish E’s. Once girls are asleep at night, I am sewing. It helps.

Thursday. Is it Thursday? I’m not sure. It’s even worse than that week between Christmas and New Year’s. It could be Thursday. What date is it? Brain is getting fuddled reading cyclone warning updates. Checking phone for the actual date. 

Cyclone fatigue has set in. Waiting is hard. 

Early morning walk is overcast but still. Very still. The hotel on the corner opposite the river that always floods has finally removed its outdoor tables and chairs and coffee cart. I note there are zero sandbags about though. Not as many people out as usual, and far fewer cyclists. Usually I see about 100, give or take (yes I count them, don’t you?), but Thursday’s number is 12. 

Bubbles are the new favourite thing outside. An upstairs neighbour calls down from her balcony to see if we are ok with storm prep. She smiles at the girls and the bubbles and the twirling. C is swinging wildly from being really easy going, flexible thinking, problem solving extraordinaire to the most stuck. Please give her the ball. She clearly wants the ball. Why are you refusing to give her the ball? “Because you told me to carry it inside”. I have since changed my instructions. Give her the ball it’s just a ball.

Inside, and I need some relaxation crochet time. After a few stitches, S is on me. Settling in for a long cuddle. She falls asleep on me. When she wakes, she stays, and E joins us. E possibly has an ear infection. Is anywhere even open for help? She is in so much pain. Pain relief, then she falls asleep. I extricate S and myself and we prep some chocolate chip cookies. We won’t lose power until the winds are much stronger.

Glenn calls from the shops. What about dinner? What about dinner. My brain is stuck. I just – nope. No thinking is possible. Thankfully he understands this and can make thoughts and decisions and plans. 

I try for a nap after lunch. I take my crochet into the bedroom just in case I am just needing time away from people. S insists on coming in with me, and being under the quilt, and her head on my pillow, and so I give up on any napping and sit on the chair. E wakes and needs me so out I go. For the next half hour or so, S just lies on my bed, looking out the window. Watching.

Obsessively looking for all the updates on Facebook. Groaning when the predicted landfall stretches out from what was initially late Wednesday to Thursday, to Thursday, to late Thursday early Friday, to now being late Friday early Saturday. Come on already. Waiting is hard. 

Starting to see memes of waiting. The skeleton with its feet up and “Just waiting for Alf” sticks with me the most. 

Starting to see the stupidity that I suspect is peculiar to Australians in wild weather. People naturally out to watch the wild seas and look at the eroding beaches but then getting into stupidly dangerous situations. Like the woman who walked her dogs on the beach and one of the dogs nearly went out to sea and she nearly went out to sea trying to save one dog and someone else nearly went out to sea trying to save the dog for her. 

Starting to see destruction. Trees down. Cars flattened. Do I show these to the girls? Do I keep them from seeing this? Will it help them understand the strength of a cyclone or will it worry them even more? Part of my cyclone fatigue is trying to accomodate everyone’s personal sensory needs and trying to work out what will help them process this and understand it and what will make it worse for them. The advice of “tell your children in an age-appropriate way” doesn’t really help me work out what to tell them. And as I am learning that C is someone who copes by knowledge, I am trying to give her bits of knowledge while also trying not to worry her with bits of knowledge that won’t apply to us here. 

This is tough. Waiting is tough. Navigating all of this is tough. Now excuse me while I open Facebook and check for another update.

Alfred Is Coming

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Soooo funny story. You know how C has quite a high level of anxiety? Yeah. That. And last week, or maybe the week before that, we were talking about cyclones. Some of you will know where this is headed, but indulge me. C was really worried about cyclones and the possibility of a cyclone and us being in a cyclone. 

“You know what?” I said. “Cyclones don’t actually come this far down the coast. I have never experienced a cyclone in Brisbane. We get the cyclonic effects of more wind and rain, but that’s as far as it goes. We’re safe from cyclones here”.

Ha. Ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

Sunday. Wow it’s windy today, isn’t it? It’s like autumn has been waiting for March to happen and then, BAM. Autumn has entered the building.

Sunday afternoon. Facebook notification the QPS is live. Huh. That usually only happens around extreme weather events. How far north is Great Keppel Island? NO IT’S E’S TURN NEXT YOU JUST HAD A TURN.

Sunday evening. Glenn trying to talk to me while dinner is on. Never a smooth conversation, but this was about the news about the weather. The storm chasing guy is having conniptions because the cyclone that’s off the coast (what?! Oh wait that makes sense now) is set to make landfall in a few days (ooh yay more cooler weather) and the eye is set to pass over Redcliffe. Wait, what?! Redcliffe? That’s, like, really really close. Like, we could be there in an hour or so and we know people and CYCLONES DON’T COME THIS FAR DOWN THE COAST but apparently now they do. Girls kept eating dinner. Oblivious.

Monday morning. On the way to daycare someone passed us, talking on the phone. Talking about taping up windows. A sudden realisation hit that C was going to be hearing a lot of talk about cyclones and emergencies and cyclones and disasters and flooding and cyclones and high winds and destruction and general excitement from others as well as, most likely and could even make a bet on it, gross exaggeration on the part of many of the boys and not a few of the girls, that would have C – who takes most things quite literally – actually thinking that whatever these kids were saying, would happen. Like that the school is going to be washed away. Or that snakes are going to be flung through bedroom windows. Or that we’d be walking in sewage. Ugh. I don’t know. But I know that there is a part of society that seems to be peculiar to boys of a certain age that will make the experience as gruesome as possible. I needed to talk to the girls.

Sure enough, the word “cyclone” made C wrap her arm around mine like a pretzel. “Remember, mummy and daddy will do everything we need to do to keep you girls safe”. I’m still really worried about the cyclone. “This is just a prediction. Often when they develop, they reduce and become just really big storms”. Oh good. That’s what’s going to happen here. “But it also might do as the professionals are predicting, and come in and be a cyclone. We have to be prepared”. I’m really really worried about the cyclone.

I think I managed to reduce her fears by enough that she could function, at least. School was fine. I suspect she is not the only kid in her class with anxiety. She came home happy and unphased. Phew. Of course, I had watched much of one of the live emergency services sessions and gone to the recommended websites and looked at what we need to get and talked with Glenn about it and found the resource on preparing children for it. Thank goodness it is just one highly anxious child. E and S seem most concerned about whether I will let them play at the park, regardless of their level of sickness or the level of wind.

Glenn went to the shops twice. The first time he was surprised by how few people there were around the shopping centre and how busy it was inside. The second time, he started sending me photos of the lines inside, and reporting on the lack of this and that. Pre-cyclone panic buying.

Tuesday. All the girls are sick. Glenn had an early start but thankfully an early finish as well. Blueberry and chocolate pancakes for Pancake Tuesday. I was not at all sad that all the girls had to be home, but girls not at school or daycare meant my plan of doing some shopping early in the day had to change. A shopping trip with well girls is hard enough, let alone a shopping trip with sick girls in a busy and slightly panicky shopping centre before a cyclone in an area not used to cyclones. Thankfully, Auntie J offered to pick things up for us and no way am I turning that one down. It was such a help. C was still worried that the cyclone will hit now. Not until Thursday, we kept telling her. Is the cyclone coming tonight? No. Tonight will be fine. 

Work. Yeah, remember that thing that pays the bills? I had already had to bail on the daily work. I was very glad to be having a delayed job to do, due Thursday. Hm. I also started to worry that I would not be able to complete it on time. Deeeeeeep breaths. Okay. Power is likely to go out Wednesday afternoon. Unlikely before then. Okay. So Monday evening I had started it, a civil case involving a car hire claim following a traffic accident yawn sorry what ooh that was interesting. I still had a good chunk of it to go on Tuesday. Like, possibly three hours of my time. With sick girls. And a deadline thanks to nature a day and a half earlier than official. Deep breaths. Then amazingly, after morning tea on Tuesday, girls were watching movies and NOT fighting and building cubbies and NOT screaming and actually working out those little things like your leg is touching me or your ear is in front of the screen I can’t see. Wow. I snuck to the bedroom where I work and thought I would just get a little bit done but I finished all the typing. All. The. Typing. Emailed work to say this is the situation. Checked and submitted the job after girls were in bed Tuesday night. Satisfaction. Relief.

Random weather. Clear skies. WINDY. Clear skies. Dark clouds. Sunny and windy. RAIN. Sunny cloudy sunny cloudy sunny cloudy sunny windy.

Emergency plan sorted out. Sure, we need to do things like put all the loose bits of everything on the balcony into some storage solution, and washing needs to be done now before the power goes out and before the weather requires it be not outside and candles let’s make candles and what activities do you girls want to have available when we have no power, but mostly, which movies shall we make sure to download so that if we have no internet you can still have something to watch.

Trying to follow the advice for dealing with children. Trying to stay calm. Trying to be honest about what’s coming but reassuring them that we will get through this. Once Glenn was home in the afternoon, there was a real feeling of we have the whole family together. We are hunkering down together. We’ve got this.

What We Read This Week (02/03/2025)

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Well. It has been a while since I have memorised a book from reading it so much. Some that are in my repertoire are Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes; Time For Bed; Where Is the Green Sheep?; and This and That. The number of times S – who is currently fighting her worst ever cold – has asked, “How about we read Tiddler?”, or said “Read me Tiddler”, or “Let’s read Tiddler”, has resulted in me reading it any number of times, back to back, at all hours. It’s not quite entrenched in my brain just yet but I reckon by next Sunday it will be. It is becoming her comfort book, her go-to, her first choice for reassurance.

Books also saved us when I took S (with E as well) to the doctor on Friday. A midday appointment, that may or may not be running late, with one child who absolutely hates being at the doctor’s – I mean, chances are you’ll get stabbed (vaccinated), so I see her point – and was not very happy about being strapped into a stroller when she has recently gained a fair bit of freedom in that department, and another child who was being dragged along and not really enjoying being told to do anything like stay close and not climb on all the chairs because it’s not your own personal indoor gym. Dreading the experience, I felt like a magician when I said, “Let’s see if we have any books in here… Oh look, Hammerbarn!” And the mood switched from grizzly anxious to the calm familiarity of a well-known, well-loved book to hold and read and look at. 

E has been fascinated by Letters From Felix this week, one of those perfect books for her age. A favourite toy, lost on holidays. Letters from all over the world. Actual letters that are a sheet of paper folded inside an envelope in the book. Lots of fine motor skill practice has happened this week, all in pursuit of letters and curiosity.

C was ecstatic on Tuesday this week, as she could borrow two of one of her favourite chapter book series from the school library. And then she read them both in about half an hour that night and then fell right asleep. The EJ Spy School series even inspired her birthday party last year. Then on Thursday, when homework came home, she was ecstatic again as her home reading book was an Ella and Olivia book. Usually she rolls her eyes at how simplistic the home readers are, but this week she read it without prompting more than once.

I have been making progress on Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé, with lots of downtime cuddles happening and no shopping or park plays or any outings whatsoever. I am so enjoying it, as I knew I would, but I am also feeling like I fell asleep in a show and woke up in the next series. I suspect some books in between Chocolat and Peaches will be in order soon.

As an aside, as today is Dr Seuss’ birthday, we had green eggs for breakfast. This sounds like more of a novelty than it really is, as Glenn makes “Baby Yoda eggs” (steamed eggs with spinach) on many weekends. But green eggs (scrambled eggs made with eggs whizzed with kale and avocado) was it for breakfast. C acknowledged what was up, but E and S were a bit more puzzled, even though I explained that it was Dr Seuss’ birthday and he wrote that book, Green Eggs and Ham… And even though we have quite a selection of Dr Seuss books, we don’t have THAT book, and the girls didn’t want to read any of his other books. To be fair, they were quite keen to watch anything they could that was based on a Dr Seuss book, but that was about it. Happy birthday, Dr Seuss.

Expected and Unexpected Milestones

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There have been a few developments this week. That feels like an understatement but see for yourself.

Glenn had a birthday. No matter how many you have had, I always feel a birthday is special. A celebration of life, of that already lived and that which is to come. This one felt extra special, not from being any particularly special age or any celebration that we did, but from family. The girls were all aware that daddy’s birthday was coming up. E made him a card with all the Frozen stickers she was given for her birthday. C was such a lovely helper on our shopping trip to buy daddy’s birthday presents. And S… this was the first year that she really initiated “happy birthday daddy”. Not just copying others, as she often does, but just randomly in the middle of breakfast. And while he was opening presents. And during dinner. We had these very sweet, very lovely, “happy birthday daddy”s punctuating the day.

Speaking of copying, S has upped her copying. For quite some time – I mean, at least a year, possibly 18 months or so – S has been an excellent mimic. Which has contributed to her being a much more understandable speaker, I think (one of the factors, anyway), but also has made some things extra funny. Like, one of the things of our family is Glenn will stand with his feet apart in the hallway or the kitchen entrance and say, in a Big Daddy Voice, “You’re not getting past here”. E and C will either slip to the side or, more likely, drop and go through the daddy tunnel. S, though, copies his stance and then sometimes copies his Big Daddy Voice herself. Copying does often result in screams and shouts and growls of “STOP COPYING ME” from the other girls but they all do it to each other and to me. At the park on the weekend, though, S took it to the next level. I was pushing her in the swing.

S: What’s in the … [other end of the pendulum]

Me: What’s in the what?

S: What’s in the … [other end of the pendulum; looks back at me with a smile. Maybe this is delight at being in the swing]

Me: In the what? The tree?

S: In the what? The tree?

Me: In the tree?

S: In the tree?

Me: The – are you copying me?

S: Are you copying me? [widest possible grin on her face]

Speaking of the park, E can now climb the climbing wall. We hadn’t been to this park for a while. E is cautious by nature. Suddenly, from the swings where I spend most of my park life apparently, I heard big screams. I wasn’t sure if it was the screams of “I’m frustrated” or “I’m hurt”. I got there as fast as I could to hear, “AGH I CAN’T DO IT CAN YOU HELP ME”. Now, I am a big fan of if they can do it, they can do it; if they can’t, let them work out how to do it. That’s great. But also, sometimes, there’s no way they’re going to approach something again if they don’t experience any way of how they can. So I stood behind E and told her I was right there. No good. With her hands and a foot in position, after moving one foot she again screamed, “I CAN’T DO IT”. This time, though – milestone #1 for this experience – I suggested we look at it from below. If you put your hands here and here, then a foot here and a foot here – uh huh – then you could move that foot to there and that foot to there, then— she was at it again. And nailed it. Milestone #2 for this experience. Then she repeated it a bunch of times and I did a Timelapse of her doing it which has S in the background and then she watched the video on repeat for a while and scream-laughed every time but was also SO proud of herself.

Speaking of E, there are a couple of things that switched when she turned four, as she is “A growmup girl now”. Big change #1: no more nighttime nappies. This has not been quite as successful as any of us hoped. Yet she still insists on no nappy, only undies. And she still wakes up during the night (most nights, anyway), very distressed and utterly surprised that she is wet. She must wear a nappy if she is coming into our bed so I put that on over her (fresh, dry) undies. And most mornings, she tells me she has a wee in her nappy, and – oh MAN – wet undies?!?! How did that happen?! Big change #2: no more baths. Showers. Which would be a bit easier for everyone if she wasn’t absolutely terrified of showers. But the first night that she insisted on a shower – so I drained the bath that S had just been in – and then E realised that she is scared of showers so could she have a bath please – and there was no way I was running another bath – quick thinking meant I offered to have a shower with her and now that is what happens every night. Which is, honestly, fantastic. It’s true that I no longer have that few minutes to be on my own and get clean without dodging a slippery child, but having a shower done before 7pm (or so) means that’s another thing ticked off the list of what I have to do. I’m loving it.

Still speaking of E, Glenn took her for a daddy-daughter doctor visit. As in, I wasn’t involved at all, except for booking the appointment. Previously, I’ve always taken them and Glenn has come sometimes and not other times. This worked beautifully! E is such a daddy’s girl right now so needed his comfort when she had her 4-year-old stabs.

Speaking of… Nope. No link for this one, but it is the most grey-hair-inducing. I was walking home with E and S after daycare on Tuesday. In the midst of the most dangerous section – big driveways for big buildings with impatient drivers – S was suddenly climbing out of the pram. She had been securely buckled in. She was no longer securely buckled in. I strapped her back in – which was hilarious, apparently – and tried to keep walking while watching her unbuckle herself again. I gave up. E apparently had tired legs, so she was allowed to get in the pram while S held the pram and walked with me. Wednesday I took her in the stroller (smaller, no storage areas, much harder to push) because I don’t think she has mastered unbuckling that one just yet. She was allowed out to do some walking, and to be fair, she is pretty good at holding on and staying on the side I tell her to stay on. E and C quite enjoy getting a free ride (although they have to take turns) when S is walking, but goodness me the weight difference is noticeable when I’m pushing a nearly-7-year-old up a hill.

What We Read This Week (23/02/2025)

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This was a week of magic and whisperings and tall tales and superheroes, of champions and quests and adventure and teamwork. And punctuation.

This was a week that C continued in her Geronimo and Thea Stilton obsession but also branched out to some Rescue Princesses and Magic books. A week that I am sure she read at least three of the Magic books (I’m not yet sure of their series name) but then thought she had lost Rainbow Magic and was devastated for all of Friday afternoon and evening and all of Saturday and thank goodness I found it somehow at the bottom of the pile of clean washing waiting to be sorted on Sunday. I’m quite sure this girl must dream of magical mice riding magical unicorns solving mysteries in the magical kingdom of Sparkles or something. 

This was a week that I had to keep rereading the chapter I am up to in Peaches for Monsieur Le Curé because every time I read it I was interrupted by children needing me to do something or to jump on me or to cuddle me so fully that all I could do was surrender and hope I didn’t break an elbow or wrench a shoulder as I put the book away.

This was a week that E “borrowed” a book from C’s impressive stash and curled up on my sofa to “read” it. The intensity! This girl is so ready for Big School and learning how to read like a Big Kid.

This was a week that S asked me, often, to read her a story. It is finally clicking into a comfort thing for her. On Saturday I wasn’t well and my perceptive 2yo did what she always does and kept herself close to me, as if to keep checking on how I am, and eventually I asked if she wanted a story and she became my weighted blanket as I read her this week’s favourites: Tiddler, and Superworm. Or, to be more accurate, TIDDILER, and SOOperWUMMMMMM. 

C read these two books independently. S asked for them most evenings. E asked for them most evenings, and when I read to her, she would recite along with me. The. Best.

Also up there with my Things That Make Me Smile is when my girls pick a book about punctuation as their bedtime story.  The last 3 nights have seen E asking for the Pop-Up Punctuation book. Yes. It is a thing. My mum (a retired English teacher, unsurprisingly) gave the girls this book and it is fabulous. I love it. Showing where and why and how for all sorts of symbols, it is gentle and informative and funny. What a find.

And Now She Is Four

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For at least a month before her birthday on the weekend, E would wake up and ask, “Am I four now?” The more often she asked – the closer it got to her birthday – the more dramatic her response to “No, not yet”. A slightly disappointed “Aww I want to be four!” progressed to a slightly angry “BUT I WANT TO BE FOUR NOW” which progressed to dramatic facepalms and “STILL?!?!” I assured her that I had wanted her to be born well before now, too, but her birthday would come along eventually. I don’t think that helped AT ALL but what can you do? I even tried showing her on a calendar and that just made it worse.

It finally, finally was her birthday. Her whole-body reaction of delight and relief and happiness when I could say “Yes” to her sleepy question – well, it made my day. We made her day as special as we could, with croissants for breakfast (family tradition passed along from my side); church (where the girls – the drama! – missed out on the usual post-church ice cream because somebody ELSE who was NOT turning four was actually celebrating being ordained for 40 years and put on a barbecue but thank goodness the girls’ favourite person – a lovely girl who is nearly 10 – was there and made a lovely fuss over E); seeing a favourite honorary Auntie at the play cafe for a babycino and treats and a big play; her request for dinner (sausages); and her choice of cake. 

Whenever I asked what sort of cake she wanted for the party, she gave me a different answer. For the cake for on her actual birthday to have with family, she wanted “a chocolate cake and strawberry cake”. When we went to Woollies on Saturday and were up to the cake department, she put on her fastest feet ever, zoomed over and pointed to the pavlova with strawberries on it. Ohhhhh. Phew. Easy. I love making cakes for my family for celebrations, but also, there was a lot on over the weekend and not having to add “make and decorate a cake for family” made me just that little bit less stressed.

Last year I had decreed that birthday parties could only happen every second year. If you turn an even number, you get a birthday party (which, admittedly, didn’t work out for S last year turning two.  Oops). E was looking forward to her mermaid birthday party in the park for over a year. Unfortunately, she is a summer baby and the weather often gets in the way. In the planning stages, we could see that the weather for the week leading up to her birthday weekend was set to be raining, so any parks in our area would be sodden messes. This would make for the best day ever in her whole entire life but I just couldn’t do it. Thankfully, daycare was quite happy to put on a little party this week. We sent in cake, balloons, party hats and party bags, and let them deal with it all. Win.

Well, almost win. When I was decorating the cake (a 5-layer rainbow cake with ‘violet’ icing and Frozen snowflake sprinkles, and panicking that I didn’t know if the icing was looking enough like violet to satisfy this all-shades-of-purple aficionado), I was a little bit sad that I wouldn’t be there celebrating her party with her. I wouldn’t get to see her excitement. I wouldn’t get to see her face. I wouldn’t get to see her put as much of a slice of cake as is humanly possible in her mouth and kind of sit with it for a while before, to my amazement, managing to chew and swallow before finishing off the rest of her slice. I wouldn’t get to wipe ‘violet’ icing off her cheeks or fingers. I would only be able to imagine her face as “Happy Birthday” was sung to her around a cake with candles alight, seeing her eyes down and eyebrows raised far up in such an E expression and the widest and most delighted smile on her face as she took in all this joy for her. All this joy because E finally turned four and we love her.

Planning, Planning, Planning

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I am pleased to report that I am on my way to being a Planner. A List Maker. An Organised Mum. There are still some areas to sort out (PUN!) but I have my week of laundry planned (like when to wash towels and sheets; clothing is washed as needed which is almost daily) and a very loose cleaning … guide? Time to think about maybe cleaning an area? Then in January I planned my planning which was such a Me thing to do. So I now also have Food Organisation Preparation and Execution plans. I also have Planning for the Weekend plans.

As Monday-Thursday is when I work, I don’t plan on getting any baking done on those days.  Friday-Sunday, though, there are now Food Preparation Goals. Cookies. Muffins. Boiled eggs. Overnight oats. Baked oatmeal. Next level will be to keep a tally of how much of what we have in the freezer. I have plans to create a little sheet in Canva that can keep track of all of this. We also are going to start using a numbering system for our freezer to reduce what gets thrown out when we have to clean it out because it is too full, or even, avoid the too-full events entirely. All of this is making my Planning Self happy.

As Monday-Thursday is when I work, I have children with me and needing attention for Friday-Sunday. My go with the flow, let’s see what happens, children know what they want, let them play, approach … well. With experience, I have realised a number of things. When my girls are out, they get on beautifully; when my girls are home, they fight. When my girls have craft to do, there is harmony in the home; when we are home with no plan of what to do, there is chaos and fighting. Furthermore, C definitely likes to know The Plan, and E nearly always asks the night before, “Where are we going when we wake up?”

It used to be that I would get to Thursday night and groan. Not for the imminent children aspect, but because I had nothing planned or prepped for them to do. Craft is great, and letting them have free reign on the craft supplies is … you know. But when there is a plan, with something I can prep and then they have a plan, is always more successful in terms of engagement from them and cooperation and general calm and it just works out better.

So the New Way of doing things involves me starting a note in my phone early in the week, entitled “Weekend Plans 15-16 February”, for example, and then setting out Friday night dinner, Saturday breakfast – all the food things – as well as any outings we are aiming for if everyone is well, and what sort of creative activity we want to do, as well as what and when I plan on food prepping. I want to dig up our magnetic blackboard and an appropriate pen and have this more visible on the fridge, too, so C can contribute independently. Walks to daycare and school now include a question here and there of, what do you want to do for craft or art on Saturday? What do you want on your pizza on Friday? Can everyone please stay well this week so we can go to the park on the weekend, please?

Last weekend showed me that this planning doesn’t magically create a fight-free weekend. Unfortunately, this isn’t some cure-all solution for family harmony. What it does do, though, is give me an opportunity to be prepared for green pancakes and rainbow pizzas and love heart crafts and surprise paints. Planning helps.

Are The Voices In My Head Bothering You?

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There is so much. So much noise, clamouring noise in my head of what needs to be done. Do I seem quiet? Distracted? Step inside and take a peek at what’s going on. This is an example from Sunday night as I was lying on the girls’ bedroom floor while C tried to go to sleep and I tried to stay awake.

“Finish prepping daycare bags. S, spare top. E, spare top and bottom. Do I take out any undies from – no. S probably needs four pairs spare. Remember that daycare teacher from long ago who scolded you for not having enough pairs of spare undies when C was toilet training. Lunchbox for C. Yes you need to do it tonight. Just because on Thursday morning you managed to pack her lunch in about 23 seconds doesn’t mean that’s a good way to go about things. Sandwich. Tomatoes for vitamin C. Cookies. Fruit break should I give her pineapple or apple I think apple. Haven’t sorted the washing. Does everyone have clothing close enough to the top of the mountain of washing? Yes I think so. Don’t worry about that tonight then. But really, you need to do it. Like, soon. Maybe in the morning before people wake up. 

“Why did E fall asleep so late. She was so tired. Hope she’s not coming down with something. What was that song she sang for me. Something about a frog that she acted out on her bunk. It was quite impressive. How can I afford to send her to ballet lessons. Dancing. C has a catchup Irish dancing lesson tomorrow. Is that a good idea. Out of routine and she will hate it. She needs new dancing shoes. Sigh. Will G be okay getting daycare girls home and having dinner OH Monday. Parent information night at the school. That’s not going to work out. Timings and exhaustion levels and cranky children levels and nope we can’t do the dancing catchup. Remember to let the teacher know. How soon can you pay the Irish dancing term fees. It’s due this week and will your pay cover it. I think it should but can there be any daycare payment then too. Maybe. Hopefully. Stupid clerical error meaning I wasn’t paid last week and check the accounts to look for the possible dishonour fee for that payment and then it would have been overdrawn too so is there another fee for that stupid stupid stupid pay thank goodness for managers stepping in.

“Money this week. Heart payment on Wednesday will be covered by pay. Irish dancing due Friday. Should be enough available for that and then Centrelink comes in so phew. We can breathe again. E’s birthday presents. What will it be. Can we manage a full Elsa costume probably not. Why did her friend get the whole Elsa hair? Ugh. How can we do that birthday party. Must email daycare about it. Preferably tonight. How do I include the friend who hasn’t moved up to preschool yet. Maybe I message her mum and we meet up elsewhere? Or can I ask daycare staff to sort that?

“Is C’s friend experience right now a start of the year thing, or because she had 3 days off school last week and everyone else got on with their lives, or is it continuing from last year but worsening? Should I talk to anyone about this. How can I make it easier for her. I just want to give her big cuddles. Please be a better week. Can the psychologist help with this. Does the psychologist believe me about her. When’s the next psychologist appointment. I don’t think it’s this week. How will I cover the gap. Dentist. Everyone needs to see a dentist. Should I start C on OT now or later. How do I start her on OT. I said I would take her to the ceramic painting class this week. Hm. If I’m working then I don’t want to be stopping working because it means I will be stopping earning. I hate this time of year from the financial viewpoint.

“How does everyone get to be supported and validated while learning to respect each other and the others’ boundaries? When is Ash Wednesday. Ah. March 5. Which means yeah that girl’s birthday party can’t be on the Sunday. She said the 3rd which is the Monday. She must mean the 2nd. Dr Seuss’ birthday. Green eggs that day for breakfast. Baked goods. Are there enough in the freezer and the cookie jar for this week. Freezer stocks are running low but I think the cookie jar will cover us for a few days. Must buy more spinach. I can’t believe I ran out of spinach. When is G working this week. Have to organise with myself when a strength workout will happen. Remember to pick up C on Monday because J is away. Ooh but G can pick her up Tuesday because he has a bonus day off. How can I remove things from our play zone without having indignant children. Washing machine just finished.”

I had heard it said before, but yeah. Mums have quite the mental load. And it’s not because the dads are useless or uninterested or unable to organise themselves out of a paper bag. (Admittedly, sometimes I think that might be the case but it’s not the case here or for many of our friends.) We didn’t really discuss it, but G and I each have our roles in the family and household. I love doing all of this. It’s just that, sometimes, the voices in my head remind me of that scene in Scrubs when Elliot has her brain opened up and it’s like the universe roars out.

What We Read This Week (09/02/25)

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I have read so many stories this week. Stories to girls who are wanting to go to sleep but their sleep train has been delayed so they ask for a story instead. Stories when S is stuck in one of those dreaded 2-hour overnight wakes which you just have to ride out with no amount of anything that will speed up the process it’s just done when it’s done and you’re asleep and you only know you’re asleep when you’re being woken up by the next child needing you. S still suffers these, and as part of her Overnight Wake Routine she will inevitably ask for a story and whether or not I agree, she will manage to bend her arm into the bookshelf next to her cot and retrieve books and books and books. Her favourites right now seem to be Flood (Jackie French and Bruce Whatley), Never Touch a Grumpy Unicorn (right up her sensory-seeking alley), and The Boy Who Ate Everything, which seems to be a firm favourite for all my girls.

We had a trip to the library yesterday, mostly to return bags and bags of books but also to borrow some. C borrowed her usual Geronimo Stilton fare but branched out to Thea Stilton as well as a Pixie book, which prompted Playing Families (Pixie Land Edition) to be the game all afternoon. At the library, E was desperate to explore but also desperate to borrow some books, but also also desperate to borrow chapter books like C, so for the first time ever she borrowed some chapter books. Two books in the Little Ash (Ash Barty) series, and it was her first real experience of me stopping reading at a totally logical point, having read enough of a story for her to have been read to, but not having finished a book and having to wait until tomorrow night for the next bit.

I am pleased to report that, not quite within the 4-week borrowing time set by the library, and not quite within the confines of a calendar month, but nonetheless I am about to finish The Last Family In England. Mere pages to go. I have loved reading this book. I have loved being in this world inside this book. I have loved reading this author, who I came across by chance on Twitter years and years ago, and he struck a chord for all sorts of reasons, and I had wanted to read a book of his for such a long time. I have also been conscious that this is modelling a behaviour that I want to see in my girls. We read. We read for necessity, like to find out what signs mean and how to get somewhere and what the news is. We also read on our devices, for necessity and for pleasure. We also read actual, physical books that have been written by a person and published and printed and are a thing you can hold and smell and get right into. Reading a book on my phone is something I do, too, but it’s not the same, either for me or for my girls’ experience of my reading. Real books are in order.  

Baking the Best Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies

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Are you ready to make the best chocolate chip cookies you have ever made? Of course you are. Here we go.

Start this recipe as far in advance as you can. “Ready in less than an hour” does not apply here.

Gather your supplies. You will need:

2 cups of wholemeal plain flour (white plain flour works fine here too)

1 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon bicarb soda

1 1/4 cups chocolate chips – vegan if necessary 

2/3 cup coconut sugar (or 1/2 cup packed brown sugar)

1/2 cup granulated or caster sugar

1/2 cup plus 1 teaspoon olive oil or coconut oil

1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon water

Plus: 2 mixing bowls – 1 medium and 1 large; and measuring cups and spoons.

As you gather your supplies, children gather nearby, realising that baking is imminent. They clamour for the ladder which is allocated on a first come, first served basis. Second child gets to fetch the step stool from the bathroom. Third child is reminded how tall they are and actually don’t really need height assistance.

Start measuring your 2 cups of wholemeal flour into a medium bowl. A child will insist on doing this with you. The pride you feel when they tell you any of the numbers they see on the measuring cups is soon overridden by the spray of flour as they tip it only partially into the bowl. 

Don’t stress it. Somehow this process makes it better. I don’t know how.

A teaspoon of baking powder and a very approximate 3/4 teaspoon of bicarb soda go in too. Children take turns to stir, sometimes remembering to hold the bowl. Some more flour mix may be launched out of the bowl. This is fine. We are fine.

Next come the chocolate chips, and relief. 1 1/4 cups of chocolate chips need to go into the flour mix. This is more than a standard pack of chocolate chips so don’t be complacent. Your helpers are at the height of helpfulness when testing of the chocolate chips is underway. Often this is their cue to leave you to yourself to get on with things, if they score enough of a batch to test for quality. Or to see if they prefer milk or dark. This is all important. Embrace it.

Next, bring out the large mixing bowl. Put the medium bowl out of reach of children. The chocolate chips are still visible in this mix so are at risk of further testing.

Into this bowl you will need 2/3 cup of coconut sugar (or 1/2 cup packed brown sugar which will end up thoroughly tested and quite spilled and therefore further tested); 1/2 cup of caster sugar; 1/2 cup plus an extra teaspoon of olive oil (or coconut oil but I personally can’t stand the scent so steer clear); and 1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon of water. Mix this vigorously. I prefer using a fork for this but I realise most people are fancy and use a whisk. 

When the mix is, you know, mixed, add the flour mix to the wet mix and stir with a wooden spoon. Mix just enough for there to be no more clumps of unmixed flour. 

If you are baking these anywhere from October to April in Brisbane, you will probably need to put the bowl in the fridge now otherwise your cookies will become one. 15 minutes or so should do it, or as long as you need to deal with having a cheeky nap or changing a toddler nappy or putting out washing or if you just forget. It’s fine. 

Get 2 baking trays and line them as you usually line them. Bring out the cookie dough and, if you’re feeling generous, let the helpers know you’re up to the next stage. Clean hands. Rings off. I make a line across the middle of the dough so I can keep track of how much for each tray, and then scoop a spoonful of dough into my hands to roll into a ball then onto a tray. Depending on the capabilities of the helper, they may need some guidance in the amount of dough to use, but I find if they have enough play dough experience they will catch on pretty quickly and not need help in rolling it into a ball. No need to stress if they taste test the dough. No egg, no worries. Winning. This batch makes 26 cookies which suits my preferred layout of 3-2-3-2-3 on each tray. Do a little squish on each dough ball, using cute little helping fingers or a fork. 

Chill time is essential. If you can find room in your freezer for these two trays, good for you. Whack them in for 30 minutes. Otherwise, into the fridge for … some time. Like, at least four hours. I usually leave them until the next morning, but whatever works. When you remember them, turn on your oven to 175C. If you get your cookies out when you turn on your oven or if you leave them in the fridge or freezer until the oven is ready is up to you, it just affects the baking time. When the oven is hot, put the trays into the oven and bake for 10 minutes. If they are not looking like your preferred cookie consistency, keep them in for another 2-5 minutes. They should be a little bit golden brown. 

Get your helpers out of the kitchen so you can open the oven and remove the trays. We put ours on our stovetop, with oven mitts on the sides closest to the front. Remind your helpers these are HOT and they are to keep their hands off. They will likely repeat this information to you, possibly while reaching out to touch the hot thing if they are a very sensory-seeking child like my 2yo. Keep those little fingers safe.

The next stage is, honestly, my favourite: sprinkling sea salt flakes over the baked cookies. Note that this is not the same as grinding salt over it so make sure your independent oldest child is aware of this and doesn’t accidentally grind pepper over your freshly-baked cookies. Sea. Salt. Flakes. Sprinkle them over, as sparingly or liberally as you wish. Leave the trays there while you deal with children wanting to do painting or needing morning tea or breakfast or whatever you’re up to, then transfer to a wire rack.

In our family, I will put aside a container of these for my husband (usually getting about 8 in a container) so that he actually gets to have some. Whatever remains on the tray after this and children wanting a cookie and then another and maybe a third, goes into our cookie jar. And even though these are, you know, chocolate chip cookies and not known for their health benefits, because they use wholemeal flour and coconut sugar and olive oil, these are cookies I can say “Yes” to when a child wants one for breakfast or in the afternoon and know that it won’t make them any more crazy cuckoo bananas than they would have been otherwise. That’s always nice.

This recipe is from Katie’s Amazing Kitchen and you can find the original recipe here. I have tweaked it only very slightly to suit Australian measurements and our weather and our lunchbox compartment sizes.