Well hello, May. April – let’s talk about April. There were developments that weren’t even Developments. They were more in the category of DEVELOPMENTS. The sort of leaps and bounds that new parents experience in those developmental leaps that also come with total chaos as the baby gets a software update and system reboot.
S is developing great drawing skills. I love seeing pictures of us drawn by her. And her writing, too. The other day after she’d had breakfast and the big girls were doing everything possible (it felt) to avoid doing anything necessary to get ready for school, S just got herself a piece of paper and some pens and did (from my perspective) a collection of random letters. She handed it to me and announced, “Now we’re at a fancy restaurant!” I looked at her menu and she hopped off her chair and went to get ready. Have I mentioned she is very different from the other girls? She’s very different. That evening on our way home she was chatting and said something like, “And I drew an S on the fancy restaurant menu. It’s yellow”, and then continued on with telling me about her day. At the first opportunity when we were home, I had a look. Sure enough, in among all the letters was a yellow S.
The Sunday after Easter, C started serving at church. That Sunday – Low Sunday – was also when I started serving at church many years ago. I’m too tired right now to try and work that out but more than 20 years ago. Goodness. This was something that E had brought up a few weeks before Easter – “When do we get to wear white at church”, or words to that effect – so I had contacted the person in charge of servers and here we are. C has found her church thing. E is desperate to start, too, but has to wait a few more weeks before a special permission try as she is only 5, not 8.
Also with C, she can reach the ceiling now. She’s pretty tall. Oh wait, what I actually mean is she can shimmy up the walls in the hallway and touch the ceiling and will either shimmy back down or, more likely, jump down. Fun times. Acro lessons are definitely worth it. C has long been able to be a bridge between the wall at the start of the hallway and the sofa. This week, E had the length and the strength and the brave to do it, too. “CAN YOU TAKE A PHOTO” and “CAN YOU TAKE A VIDEO” are phrases on high repeat in our household.
Speaking of E. Last weekend – wait, back it up. School mornings are cereal for breakfast. I can prep it before they’re up, and I don’t have to start their day with a question. Weekends are more varied, and I often make scrambled eggs. Girls often help. S is still a bit wild when cracking eggs but generally they are all quite capable, and always supervised. Last weekend, E made our scrambled eggs nearly entirely on her own. She asked for help tipping the eggs into the pan and I did a couple of stirs but that was it. Then on Monday C and E insisted on frying their own eggs. They both did fairly well, both scored a minor burn when flipping their egg, and we were late out the door, but that sense of achievement!
Two weeks ago, E came out with the sudden need to ride scooters to school. It had probably been in her head for some time but she hadn’t mentioned anything to me and so when we are heading out the door and her face lights up as she asks if we can ride scooters to school she is then so utterly crushed when my panicked on-rails brain has to say no. Thankfully I am learning how to parent E a bit better and we were able to have a relatively speedy conversation where I explained we haven’t even scooted outside our place before and we need to practice that first.
On the weekend, I took E and S with scooters and helmets and RULES to the park, where they ignored the path around the park and just played on the playground equipment most of the time. But we had that exposure to more hills and roads, so when Tuesday morning Go Time had an extra request with a face lit up with delight, I had to pause but figured, yes, we could do this. I could do this. Girls now scoot to school. C scoots ahead and I let her know our next point of meeting up. E sticks fairly close to me and randomly stops in front of me and counts to something (19, 81 with a few skipped numbers, and no. I have no idea why she does this), and then scoots on. I always have bandaids with me but haven’t needed any for scooting tumbles just yet.
Yes, this scares me enormously. The capacity for injury is high. But I have been reading things and noticing things and need to take deep breaths and let go. Not to the point of letting a kid cross a road with no visibility and fast traffic, but, you know. Chilling out a bit more. What I’ve been reading is geared towards ADHD but there’s also the underlying attitude of trying to parent as if my girls are all neurodivergent, regardless or whether they are or not. I’m fairly sure E has an ADHD brain. Kids with ADHD are corrected 20,000 more times by age 10 than their non-ADHD peers, and every correction eats away at confidence and self-esteem.
I have already heard from E that she feels she is dumb because C is so smart and knows everything. Every time E is trying something and is told how to do it, or it doesn’t work out, or she is corrected – there is so much correction in her life. So I’m actively trying to let go so she can try things in her way in her time, clean up the mess, and feel she is capable of trying things and learning how to do things. Maybe this is my April Achievement.
The Stuff of Our Life 