writing

A Snippet of Mornings

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

When C started at daycare, one of her first friends was a girl, M, who was a week older than C. Just after the girls turned one, M became a big sister. When they were about to turn 3, M scored another little sister just before E was born. At one of the birthday parties (of a different daycare kid), I remember looking at the mum and thinking, wow, supermum. I asked her, “How do you ever get out the door in the morning?” And she kind of shook it off with a “Oh, we manage”, and then told me they frequently don’t get out the door in time for anything and have daycare calling them asking if they’re actually coming in today? That made my experiences of getting only 2 girls fed and dressed and out the door in what felt like 17 hours feel just a little bit more valid. 

Then that happened to us. We became a family with 3 young girls and C started school and I started a job and suddenly we were having to feed 3 independent girls and clean teeth of 3 independent girls and get clothes onto 3 independent girls who had ideas about what they were going to wear thank you very much and then get shoes onto them brush hair apply sunscreen and hats and bags and shoes and water bottles and are we ever leaving we need to do an emergency nappy change and am I actually dressed myself and can we go yet make sure you close the door behind you. And I understood what M’s mum was on about. You manage.

You manage. You find out with experience just how early everyone needs to be up to be out the door in time. You find out with even more experience what time everyone needs to be getting on with the next task. You find out with experience how to make that next task happen – well, experience, and following as many parenting accounts as possible to provide you with ideas and comprehension and solidarity. 

Those parenting accounts help enormously. Cleaning teeth! How are we getting there? Frog jumps? Kangaroo bounces? Rolling along the wall? Yes you need clean teeth. You are heading to a royal ball. A princess mermaid with breakfast in her teeth might not be allowed in.

Not to say that I don’t lose it… I mean, this happens way more than I would like. But I am getting better at staving that off. Still, it can often feel like being in the surf for just a few minutes. Here is an example.

Me: Okay girls. It’s 7.20. Time to clean teeth!

E: But I not finished yet! 

E slurps milk from her bowl while S gets off her chair holding her not-quite-empty bowl and spills a bit but takes her bowl and spoon to the sink and throws them in with such force that I worry for anything breakable that was in there. C slowly, like a sloth slowly, gets up from her chair and moves past the other girls.

Me: C, are you doing toilet first or teeth first?

C: I don’t need the toilet!

Me: You have to go to the toilet before we leave. Teeth?

C, cross: I’M ABOUT TO DO MY TEETH.

E gets up from the table and goes to daddy on the sofa who is trying to read the news. S has run down the hallway and straight onto E’s bunk.

Me: E – never mind. (I walk down the hallway.) S. S? Where are you? Oh.

S: I sleeping! (Naughty laugh followed by fake snores).

Me: That’s E’s bunk. Out you come. (E rushes down the hallway as she realises invasion of her territory).

E: S! S (drawing out a one-syllable name to be four) that’s MY BUNK.

Me: E, nappy off. Toilet.

E: But S is on my bunk!

Me: Yes, she is. How about you do the right thing for me – C, great. Getting dressed now.

E rips off her nappy, dumps it on the bedroom floor and then is happily cleaning her teeth. I take her nappy to the bin in the bathroom and C opens the wardrobe door. I go back to the bedroom.  S dive bomb corkscrews herself behind the bunk ladder (where I can’t reach her), burying her face in the pillow. I see that C is jumping to get her school dress down from the wardrobe rail so I get the dress down for her and pick out socks for her while I’m there. I hand her the dress and put the socks on her bunk rail. C holds the dress and stays still. I grab an ankle of S and drag her to the edge of the bunk.

Me: Teeth. Now.

S runs into the bathroom and doesn’t stop before barrelling into E on the step at the basin. Seeing an imminent “I was here” fight, I pick up S and move her over for a nappy change. E finishes doing her teeth, dries her hands and face and tummy, and walks out of the bathroom.

Me: E, your clothes are in mummy and daddy’s bedroom.

E looks like she is moving to the main bedroom. I take S’s pyjama pants and nappy off. As I am putting the nappy in the nappy bag, she is off down the hallway with a machine-gun naughty laugh to launch herself onto daddy. I get a nappy but then hear C growling at E in their bedroom.

Me: Girls! What’s going – C, keep getting dressed. Dress. On.

I start down the hallway with a nappy for S.

C: But she’s IN here.

Me, from the living room: It’s her room, too!

C, getting very upset: I can’t get dressed when someone else is in here!

More growling from the bedroom accompanied by naughty laughs from E. I hand the nappy to daddy and he puts it on S while I head back to the war zone.

C: She won’t move! I can’t get dressed!

Me: E, mummy and daddy’s bedroom. C, you can’t be that particular. Three of you share this bedroom. The other two have just as much right to – hello S – be here as – (S is jumping bumping her body into my legs) – you do just please put your clothes on. S, teeth.

I pick up S and take her to the bathroom basin. As I am putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, E lets out a growl-cry of frustration. I start brushing S’s teeth and call out.

Me: E, are you ok? What’s up?

E: I don’t. Want to. Wear. THIS!

Me: What DO you want to wear?

E: Idon’twanttowearthis.

Me: Yes, I – come in here.

E stomps the 2 metres or so from the main bedroom to the bathroom and looks at me with the lowest and grumpiest eyebrows she can manage. 

E: I. DON’T. WANT. TO. WEAR. THIS.

Me: Yep, got that. S, spit out. 

I wash S’s face while she does a long sound to hear the change in sound as my hand moves the water around her, then she gets the hand towel to dry her face and top.

Me: What do you want to wear then?

S runs into the main bedroom and flops her body against the side of the bed.

E: Rainbow top.

Me, running through all her tops and coming up blank: Rainbow top? Do you mean your rainbow skirt?

E: RAINBOW TOP! WITH THE SPARKLES!

I keep thinking as I go into the main bedroom to get S dressed. S does a speed climb onto the bed and I start wrangling her into undies and shorts while she tries to launch herself as quickly as possible to the other side of the bed.

Me: Ohhhhhh that one that now fits S because it’s 3 sizes too—

E: But I want to wear the rainbow top!

Me: I hear you. It’s such a nice top, isn’t it? Daycare won’t let you wear that one, though, because it doesn’t have sleeves.

E: Oh okay.

Me: How about your love heart dress?

E, doing her Sad Bingo Impression: Ohhhhkaaaay.

I finish getting S dressed in her t-shirt and hand her a pair of socks to put on herself. I get undies on E and hand her a pair of socks to put on, then I head to the girls’ room to find E’s love heart dress. C is sitting on the floor with a dress on but not done up, reading a book.

Me: C, thanks for getting your dress on. Do you need help with the zip?

C: Where are my socks?

Me: On the bunk. Do you need – stand up.

While C stands, I get her socks off the bunk then zip her dress. E starts yowling again from the bedroom.

E: I. CAN’T. DO THIS!!!

Me: Just wait, I can come and help. C, socks. (To E) Just a moment. I’m finding your (S appears)

S: I did it my byself!

Me: Well done, S. Living room for hair. C, socks on.

I collect E’s dress and take it to the main bedroom, where she is on her back and struggling as if she is getting into the world’s tightest jeans. I fix her socks for her then she pretends to be a baby as I get her into her dress.

You see? That wasn’t much, was it? Making sure everyone actually has socks on and hair brushed and hair tied back if it’s long enough and has been to the toilet if they don’t wear a nappy feels like a breeze in comparison. I mean, it’s not, but you get the idea.

What We Read This Week (26/1/25)

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

Friday this week was hot. I mean, it was HOT. Our place is not air conditioned at all. It is usually a few degrees warmer inside than out. Girls are normally prone to bickering regardless of the weather. Thankfully, my husband reminded me that the nearest large shopping centre has air conditioning, and I remembered that my oldest brother had given the girls book vouchers. Off we went.

The girls had a blast choosing their books. I said absolutely no to any Peppa Pig books. Choosing between all the Bluey books was tough, but the girls fought so much over the Magic Xylophone book that it was easily ruled out. (I know. It’s like they haven’t even seen that episode, like, ever. Eye roll).

C had her eyes peeled for the next in the Penny Draws a Best Friend series. We didn’t find the next but a next next, as well as another in the Pearl the Flying Unicorn series. All girls were very keen for the I Love My Family book from Bluey, as well as Let’s Go Home, Baby Bee, which has a little creature to slide around the pages with a finger. I have read the Bluey book maybe five or six times in three days so that was a definite good buy, and the Baby Bee book is just mesmerising, reminding me of calm-down methods used by psychologists and the like.

We are all huge fans of Julia Donaldson so I looked for some more to add to our collection. Tiddler was top of the wish list but not found in the store. Zog and the Flying Doctors, and Tabby McTat, however, were so are now residing on the living room table and being looked through and read by all girls whenever they wish. 

So Friday’s excursion was fruitful. Aside from the book shopping, girls played in the play areas for hours before we came home. And when we eventually did, the inevitable “Can I watch something?” could be met with, “We *just* bought books. How about you read some of them?” And they did. Score.

Bluey’s World. For Real Life.

/ annamurray / 1 Comment

Way back last year, when we found out that Bluey’s World was going to happen for real life, Glenn and I knew we would want to take the girls. But this was not the kind of thing we could just finance for a “What are we doing today? Hm I dunno, let’s maybe go to Bluey’s World” kind of thing. Five of us would be a substantial outlay. That, along with the strong desire (and need, really), to keep THINGS to a minimum, resulted in the main Christmas present being One Whole Family Trip To Bluey’s World.

The gasps! The excitement! The “For real life!”s! We were cereal.

Every. Single. Morning. Since Christmas Day. The first thing E has done, even while barely awake or seemingly even approaching awake, was to ask, “Are we going to Bluey’s World today?” And when the answer was “No, not today”, that was such a hard thing for an excited 3-year-old to bear. 

But Thursday was the day. Wackadoo!

We had afternoon tickets because a), it was cheaper, and b), even though I feel I now have a good handle on getting girls up and ready to get out the door for whatever it is by 8 (ish), I didn’t want to have that panic of getting girls up and ready to get out the door with all of the extra things that I knew we would need for a big trip like this one. The downside, of course, was having to deal with very excited girls who are almost at the thing they want to be at. “Are we going to Bluey’s World today?”  “Yes!” “Yay! When are we going? I want to catch the Bingo ferry. Are we going today?” On repeat. But eventually we were out the door, with S walking for the first time until we were on the train.

I’m not here to give a review. I’m not here to recap what you already know if you’ve already been. I’m not going to give any spoilers if you haven’t yet been but plan to. I am here to put down those little elements special to our family.

Elements like our girls being the life of the party, totally engaged with the experience. Our girls being the kids who screamed – SCREAMED!!! – with excitement, several times. Our girls who were jumping with joy and delight that couldn’t come out any other way. Our girls who were first through each entrance. Except for that one bit with the TV, which held S entranced.

Elements like the lights catching E’s purple dress and turning her ultraviolet and sparkly. S wearing the romper I made for E two years ago which is from licensed Bluey fabric and having staff delighted with her outfit. C’s skort twirling as she jumped and danced.

Elements like the joy of finding only some of the many, many details that make this experience, just like Bluey episodes, so much more layered and complex than what it could have been if they weren’t, you know, the team at Bluey.  Long dogs? Check. Little squiggles of grass? Spotted. Bins? Oh yeah.  Food in the kitchen? Nicely played.  Purple underpants? Haha, yes.

Elements like the bits of the house that I didn’t consider as a part that we would see, but see them we did and use them, too. Like the Flatpack swing – heaven. The little indoor tent with seats that, as soon as I saw it, I knew at least one of my girls would be in it already and sure enough, S was having a lovely sit and think.  Stumpfest. Sandpit (thank goodness, not real). Pedaly, two of them, with a granny in each. Bin chickens (thankfully, not real). Yoga ball. Bones.

(I admit, I also cried. Like, a lot. I often tear up or outright sob when watching Bluey so I really shouldn’t have been surprised but still. There was that bit with Chilli and I was suddenly overwhelmed.)

Elements like S being totally unphased by so many people and not being next to a parent the entire time. E being totally full of beans and cheeky and sassy the entire trip. C being totally overwhelmed with excitement but also anxiety about the ferry and where everyone was every step of the way and making sure E and S were within sight and then holding a hand and showing them something they may have missed.

Elements like the gift shop madness. By this stage, S was in the play area (where she played for a good 40 minutes with no need for parental intervention and was devastated when she was pulled off the play equipment when we really needed to start heading home). E and C were both adamant they wanted a Floppy plushie. I was adamant that that was not going to happen. In the wake of their very best Please Faces, I was able to remind C that they were $35 each, and I would have to buy one for each girl, and that means three of them (also internally thinking of the space taken up by three Floppy plushies), so how much money would that be? And a moment later, “$105! Oh I see”, and she was off on a mission to find less expensive toys. I felt we did well in Alfie’s gift store. Something for each of us, plus activity books for the girls to share, and it came in at a reasonable price that I had mentally budgeted for when planning the outing. The person before me at the register? More than three times that amount. Good for her, but I also had a mini panic and mental recalculation before approaching the register.

Needless to say, we were all absolutely knackered when we arrived home. I even made S get out of the stroller and walk a little to keep her from fully falling asleep. Did I think girls would sleep early? Yes. Did I decide to have dinner after they were asleep because I thought they would be asleep early? Also yes. Did girls go to sleep early? Of course not. I ate my dinner at about 8.45. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Hello, 2025

/ annamurray / Leave a comment

It’s probably an easy guess as to one of my goals for 2025. SO much happens which means that, also, SO much takes up my time which means that, also, SO much just happens and passes us by. Some stuff just happens or changes and it takes a little while to notice that, actually, we seem to be past that “I’m finished my food and even though I know how to say ‘I’m finished eating now’ I choose to fling the remains from my bowl to wherever I can thereby getting the message across as well as some handy throwing practice” stage. Thank goodness. Or the relatively sudden change from reading 15 picture books at night to reading a chapter book at night to reading 5 chapter books before being told to turn off the light because yes you really have to go to sleep it’s nearly 10pm. And there have been some big changes that deserve their own space. But I thought I would tell it how it is today.

First up, The Tired. The Tired that comes from Glenn playing the New Year’s Eve concerts so getting about 3 hours’ sleep. The Tired that comes from E waking up at 4.40 for the day. The Tired that comes from being ON from the first wake to the last asleep, for weeks and weeks. The Tired that comes from being “just a teeny weeny bit not very well” as E would say. The Tired that comes from not being able to sleep during the day thanks to children needing love and attention. Which is wonderful, of course, and I am loving all the huggles and cuggles coming my way, and even the cannonballs that are all the rage right now but with the *very* important rule that the person being jumped on MUST have their eyes open. Lesson learned. Ahem. Tired.

Other things I want to remember from today, this day of new beginnings and fresh starts. ABBA. S insisting on “Mummy Mia” repeatedly then dancing the joyful, carefree dance of a 2-year-old. E rocking out to Kiss with what I am coming to know as her performing face, which reminds me of a librarian caricature. C being very excited about an iPad game and about us learning French together and then reading a Fairy book and making connections, all while looking 12 or 17 with her new pixie haircut. Glenn making us a dinner that ticked (nearly) all the boxes of fancy but also not noticeably fancy so girls could eat it without worrying about “ficy” or boring, plus it was easy for tired girls to eat, plus it was sporting spinach and walnuts even though you wouldn’t know it. 

I made sure to do the things that I NEEDED to do to satisfy myself. I went for a walk in the morning. I did my skincare routine morning and evening (it has been a long, long while since that happened). I ate good, nutritious food. I baked some mini muffins. I started a list of areas to declutter. I decluttered one of those areas (the ironing board is visible once more). I repotted the 3 plants I had bought in the last week – sage, rosemary and… mint (with a bonus basil that had been hiding in the sage). I trimmed the opportunistic tomato plant. I took 2 minutes in the bedroom at dinnertime to breathe before getting onto the bath and bed routines. I gave all of my girls cuddles. I was mindful (in the receptive and thoughtful sense, not the careful sense) of how beautiful and delightful and smart and imaginative and creative and caring each of them is.

And, to demonstrate to myself that some things just don’t change – and they don’t have to, and that’s ok – I started thinking about my goals for 2025 this evening. At about 9.18pm. The main thing is, baby steps. Happy New Year!